today is a boring day.
Saturday, November 27, 2004
face of a doll
With dry tearless eyes I cry,
Deep in the shadows of my fears.
My face is alike a doll's,
Where expression is stiff.
I am lost in a forest,
I am without an aim.
My fears they hold me back,
My courage it pushes me on.
A torch in hand I have,
Imbued with courage or what's left,
I swing it at the evil shadows of fear.
Do not obstruct my way.
Who am I kidding?
There's nothing left in this world of pain.
I know that once I leave this forest of doubt,
I will see nothing.
There is nothing for me to hope for,
Anymore.
Deep in the shadows of my fears.
My face is alike a doll's,
Where expression is stiff.
I am lost in a forest,
I am without an aim.
My fears they hold me back,
My courage it pushes me on.
A torch in hand I have,
Imbued with courage or what's left,
I swing it at the evil shadows of fear.
Do not obstruct my way.
Who am I kidding?
There's nothing left in this world of pain.
I know that once I leave this forest of doubt,
I will see nothing.
There is nothing for me to hope for,
Anymore.
Lyrics - Westlife - Flying Without Wings
Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lovers eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you find that special thing
You're flying without wings
Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You find it in the works of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry
You find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
'Cause who's to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete
Well for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sun rise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
At any given time or place
It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
'Cause you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings
And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings
One thing that makes it all complete
You find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lovers eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you find that special thing
You're flying without wings
Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You find it in the works of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry
You find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
'Cause who's to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete
Well for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sun rise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
At any given time or place
It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
'Cause you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings
And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings
hols so far..
the hols so far have been so so...
went out.. watched movies.. etc... but somethings missing ba..
looking forward to the chalet next monday.. but i can only go for a day or two... and i cant stay over... sigh.. thx to the sp gems...
something's really damn missing
being nothing to someone who is everything
went out.. watched movies.. etc... but somethings missing ba..
looking forward to the chalet next monday.. but i can only go for a day or two... and i cant stay over... sigh.. thx to the sp gems...
something's really damn missing
being nothing to someone who is everything
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Ahh!!! Poly Year 1 Semester 1 Results are out!!!
| MODULE CODE | MODULE |
|
| GRADE |
|
| ST0114 | DATABASE MANAGEMENT SYSTEMS |
|
| A |
|
| ST0110 | VISUAL BASIC PROGRAMMING |
|
| DIST |
|
| MS0105 | MATHEMATICS |
|
| DIST |
|
| ST0115 | UNIX AND WINDOWS OPERATING SYSTEMS |
|
| DIST |
|
| LC0818 | CRITICAL REASONING SKILLS |
|
| B+ |
|
| ST0109 | TECHNICAL AND BUSINESS COMMUNICATION |
|
| B+ |
LEGEND:
| Module Grade | Descriptor | %Range (Marks) | Grade Point |
| DIST | Distinction | >=80 | 4.0 |
| A | Excellent | >=80 | 4.0 |
| B+ | Very Good | 75 to <> | 3.5 |
| B | Good | 70 to <> | 3.0 |
| C+ | Good Credit | 65 to <> | 2.5 |
| C | Credit | 60 to <> | 2.0 |
| D+ | Good Pass | 55 to <> | 1.5 |
| D | Pass | 50 to <> | 1.0 |
| D- | Subsidiary Pass | - | 0.5 |
| P | Non-Graded Pass | - | 0.5 |
| F | Fail | - | 0.0 |
| ABS | Absent | - | 0.0 |
| UP | Pass in a Module which has no grade point | - | N.A. |
| UF | Fail in a Module which has no grade point | - | N.A. |
| EX | Exempted | - | N.A. |
Yeah!!! I'm so happy!!! 3 DIST and 1 A!!! Yay!!! hhahahahahahaha......
eh but wasted la... i didn't get the Distinction i said i would get for DBMS.... bleah... wad a let down...
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Kite
A kite is happy not only because it is able to fly high, but because there is a person holding its string at the bottom and tugs it every now and then to make sure that it's still flying. If the kite has nobody holding onto it, nobody to notice its flight, it will not be happy no matter how high it flies, even if it could reach the outer space.
A person is happy not only because it can achieve, but because there is someone who's behind him/her to support him/her everytime and to encourage that person to continue to fly. If that person has nobody supporting him/her, nobody to recognize his/her achievements, that person will not be happy no matter how well he/she can achieve, even if it is a very big achievement.
A person is happy not only because it can achieve, but because there is someone who's behind him/her to support him/her everytime and to encourage that person to continue to fly. If that person has nobody supporting him/her, nobody to recognize his/her achievements, that person will not be happy no matter how well he/she can achieve, even if it is a very big achievement.
Monday, November 22, 2004
The beginning of a day
At the beginning of every day, you have been given a new day to utilize as you please. You can choose to use it meaningfully or to waste it by using it uselessly. But whatever choice you make, it is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. At the end of the day, this day would be gone from your life, and in its place, the memories of the day. Let them be something good.
thanks for this, sp...
I see this as a roll of film. The lives of everyone of us are like rolls of films. We have a certain number of exposures, similar to the days that we have. But everyday, we will spend one of these exposures. It is up to us on the way we would like to utilize this exposure. But at the end of the day, what will be in its place will be a photo. One day, our roll of film will deplete. On that day, let us be able to look back on each used exposure and smile at our memories. :).
thanks for this, sp...
I see this as a roll of film. The lives of everyone of us are like rolls of films. We have a certain number of exposures, similar to the days that we have. But everyday, we will spend one of these exposures. It is up to us on the way we would like to utilize this exposure. But at the end of the day, what will be in its place will be a photo. One day, our roll of film will deplete. On that day, let us be able to look back on each used exposure and smile at our memories. :).
sunday....
oooo.... i have finished watching 4 volumes of the Naruto anime... total of 47 episodes muahahahahahaha... super sian ar.. i think i'm beginning to like watching anime... i dont seem to think about anything at all when i'm watching and it's good :D.... i dont have to think about anyone or anything... i can just leave the world and go into this imaginary world... like when watching a movie....
sigh
sigh
Sunday, November 21, 2004
blog template change
ahh i moved the links up above the tagboard. at least ppl will be able to see the links w/o scrolling ba... ;)... if u wan me to link just tag ba and tell me so i'll link u ;)...
la personne qui est spéciale
Everyone wishes to have someone who holds them in the highest regard.
They long for that someone who will be by their side when they are sad to lift their burdens.
They hope for that someone who will share their happiness with them.
They look to the skies, and wonder, "where is that special someone?"
Where is that person who will share the days and nights?
Where is the one who will be there in rain or shine?
Where is this someone who will watch the stars with them?
Where will this person who will sit on a beach with them to share and to feel the cold evening breeze brush against their faces be?
Where is that person who will watch the planes take off from an airport together with them?
Where is that wonderful person who will not love you for what you can become but will love you for who you are?
Everyone hopes to be able to meet someone whose heart contains only them, whose mind is filled up with thoughts of them and whose every action shows care and concern for them.
Most call it fate, others call it timing, some call it plain luck.
But everyone seems to hope that it comes their way, standing in the middle of their road of life, blocking them and then walking with them, making an impact in their lives.
May whoever who is reading this find cette personne qui est spéciale.
They long for that someone who will be by their side when they are sad to lift their burdens.
They hope for that someone who will share their happiness with them.
They look to the skies, and wonder, "where is that special someone?"
Where is that person who will share the days and nights?
Where is the one who will be there in rain or shine?
Where is this someone who will watch the stars with them?
Where will this person who will sit on a beach with them to share and to feel the cold evening breeze brush against their faces be?
Where is that person who will watch the planes take off from an airport together with them?
Where is that wonderful person who will not love you for what you can become but will love you for who you are?
Everyone hopes to be able to meet someone whose heart contains only them, whose mind is filled up with thoughts of them and whose every action shows care and concern for them.
Most call it fate, others call it timing, some call it plain luck.
But everyone seems to hope that it comes their way, standing in the middle of their road of life, blocking them and then walking with them, making an impact in their lives.
May whoever who is reading this find cette personne qui est spéciale.
eee boring day..
so bored.. eh.. anyone gt job recommendations not?... recommend leh!!! i wanna die le.. bored as hell...
Saturday, November 20, 2004
ARghhhh
wa... i watched over 20+ episodes of the anime called "Naruto" today... really tired.. gonna bathe now... today, nobody is online... it's so weird....
JIALAT LIAO LA
i cannot sleep la.. die liao la... 3am le leh... man... my minD!! my stupid mind!! stop thinking la!!!! i wanna cut out my heart and my mind.. force the two of them to stop working JUST for awhile... arghhhhhh.....
Friday, November 19, 2004
happy am i?
am i happy? that's a very good question. and i think the answer is no.. too many things have been happening recently... sigh...
why lidat... nvm ba...
why lidat... really cannot ar... why...
why is the heart so unpredictable....
Je suis un garçon stupide.
why lidat... nvm ba...
why lidat... really cannot ar... why...
why is the heart so unpredictable....
Je suis un garçon stupide.
princess diaries 2
ahh watched princess diaries 2 today.. not bad ba... :D..
today watched movie with eileen. before that, i went over to her house to pass her her present. then we went to gwc to find jacilyn, then we returned to tbp and walked around before the movie. then after the movie we met up with jacilyn after her work + met up with cindy (jacilyn's fren). haha.. all v chatty and funny la...
dear Anonymous who posted on the entry the saddest thing
r u really sure tt everything will be better for everyone someday? then when is my time?
Hey... I don't know who you are or why you are not ok.. but I really do hope that things will become fine for you one day. My life's pretty screwed up currently. But, I still have friends who are supporting me.. I'm sure that you will be able to pull through whatever you are going through currently. Cheer up kays? and when you are finally better one day, post here again, and I'll share your happiness with you :).
today watched movie with eileen. before that, i went over to her house to pass her her present. then we went to gwc to find jacilyn, then we returned to tbp and walked around before the movie. then after the movie we met up with jacilyn after her work + met up with cindy (jacilyn's fren). haha.. all v chatty and funny la...
dear Anonymous who posted on the entry the saddest thing
r u really sure tt everything will be better for everyone someday? then when is my time?
Hey... I don't know who you are or why you are not ok.. but I really do hope that things will become fine for you one day. My life's pretty screwed up currently. But, I still have friends who are supporting me.. I'm sure that you will be able to pull through whatever you are going through currently. Cheer up kays? and when you are finally better one day, post here again, and I'll share your happiness with you :).
Thursday, November 18, 2004
230 le..
230 le. today i woke up early.. now okok la.. abit blur.. but i dun feel like sleeping leh... 小霖 havent sleep yet... she seems so disturbed.. she dont sleep i also dun feel like sleeping...
the saddest thing
the saddest thing is the fact that you know that the name written in the heart of the person whom you love is not yours.
the saddest thing is that everytime that special someone misses, that special someone isn't missing you.
the saddest thing is that everytime your nick says "i love you", i know that they are for him.
the saddest thing is that it was never meant for me before.
the saddest thing is that when you miss him, you never realize that i am missing you twice as much.
the saddest thing is that when you love him, you'll never know that i love you as much as well.
the saddest thing is that when you're talking to me, you miss him and you wish to talk to him instead.
the saddest thing is that you will never know that the person whom i wish to talk to the most is you.
the saddest thing is that you will turn me down just to meet him while i will turn down the whole world just to meet you.
the saddest thing is the fact that i know that i will forever never be able to be compared to him.
the saddest thing is that fact that i'm not the person in your heart...
but nevermind ba... i believe that everything will be better for everyone someday...
the saddest thing is that everytime that special someone misses, that special someone isn't missing you.
the saddest thing is that everytime your nick says "i love you", i know that they are for him.
the saddest thing is that it was never meant for me before.
the saddest thing is that when you miss him, you never realize that i am missing you twice as much.
the saddest thing is that when you love him, you'll never know that i love you as much as well.
the saddest thing is that when you're talking to me, you miss him and you wish to talk to him instead.
the saddest thing is that you will never know that the person whom i wish to talk to the most is you.
the saddest thing is that you will turn me down just to meet him while i will turn down the whole world just to meet you.
the saddest thing is the fact that i know that i will forever never be able to be compared to him.
the saddest thing is that fact that i'm not the person in your heart...
but nevermind ba... i believe that everything will be better for everyone someday...
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
early morning
argh.. woke up abit early today.. cuz my grandma had to return to malaysia... i had to book de cab and help bring her stuff down... i admit i was tired but i only have one grandma and i couldn't expect my bro to help her with her stuff... plus my bro's dead asleep...
the ren wo au you show yesterday was nice.. i really hope that that guy can end up with jy...
my mum had actually suggested that i return with my grandmother and stay in for a few days... I thought for awhile and i rejected the idea... i actually felt like going for it, because it sounded really attractive and fun... but to think of it, i would be with family.. and it would be realllllyyy boring... but i will have to return alone if i went.. but.. i dunno... maybe another time... now's just not a good time to be away.... i think....
yup... so i guess that's just about it...
jgwl, can de la... dont think so much...
sp, cheer up ba...
the ren wo au you show yesterday was nice.. i really hope that that guy can end up with jy...
my mum had actually suggested that i return with my grandmother and stay in for a few days... I thought for awhile and i rejected the idea... i actually felt like going for it, because it sounded really attractive and fun... but to think of it, i would be with family.. and it would be realllllyyy boring... but i will have to return alone if i went.. but.. i dunno... maybe another time... now's just not a good time to be away.... i think....
yup... so i guess that's just about it...
jgwl, can de la... dont think so much...
sp, cheer up ba...
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
the need for speed?
I was playing the game Need For Speed : Underground 2 just now. I was racing this car and I kept losing. I couldn't explain why. But I just kept losing. It couldn't have been my determination. It couldn't have been my skills. In the end, I finally realized why. That car was better than mine. No wonder I couldn't win.
明白吗？
明白吗？
Job 1:21
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."
I believe
I believe i believe.... I'd just read the book of Job... I had been so wrong all this while... oh my goodness... sigh...
Monday, November 15, 2004
Always
Often
I seem to be always waiting for the SMS or call that I will never receive.
I seem to be always checking if that someone is online.
I seem to be always the one who is second choice.
I seem to be always the one who gets thrown aside when the first choice person arrives.
I seem to be always the one who is only important when the person who is important isn't around.
I seem to be always the one who is in the wrong.
I seem to be always the one who is exceptional.
Why?
I seem to be always waiting for the SMS or call that I will never receive.
I seem to be always checking if that someone is online.
I seem to be always the one who is second choice.
I seem to be always the one who gets thrown aside when the first choice person arrives.
I seem to be always the one who is only important when the person who is important isn't around.
I seem to be always the one who is in the wrong.
I seem to be always the one who is exceptional.
Why?
Saturday, November 13, 2004
When you're in love with someone, you'll only have eyes for each other.
Nothing-to-do day again ^^.. I heard this story from a show, i think i'll share it here...
There's this game called Duo Walk, whereby the players are put into teams of two. The right leg of one is tied onto the left leg of the other. It is as if they have three legs altogether. So when they walk, they will have to walk in the same pace, otherwise, they'll fall down.
In one team, there were two people. One of them fell and twisted his leg and could only walk half a step when the other could walk four steps. They couldn't play the game properly, because they could not walk at the same pace, either one would have to be faster or the other would have to be slower. This meant that either one of them would have to give in the other. They will not be able to play the game well.
Love is similar. If the love is one-sided, there isn't much to be said but even if the love is two-sided, the pace of each lover may not be the same. If one of the lovers is too aggressive (or fast), the other will not be able to keep up. Similarly, it will be painful to wait for one who is slower.
If you are reading this and you are attached, give ur stead a call. Tell him/her that u miss him/her and that you love them. Treasure him/her. Because it is difficult to be walking in the same pace...
There's this game called Duo Walk, whereby the players are put into teams of two. The right leg of one is tied onto the left leg of the other. It is as if they have three legs altogether. So when they walk, they will have to walk in the same pace, otherwise, they'll fall down.
In one team, there were two people. One of them fell and twisted his leg and could only walk half a step when the other could walk four steps. They couldn't play the game properly, because they could not walk at the same pace, either one would have to be faster or the other would have to be slower. This meant that either one of them would have to give in the other. They will not be able to play the game well.
Love is similar. If the love is one-sided, there isn't much to be said but even if the love is two-sided, the pace of each lover may not be the same. If one of the lovers is too aggressive (or fast), the other will not be able to keep up. Similarly, it will be painful to wait for one who is slower.
If you are reading this and you are attached, give ur stead a call. Tell him/her that u miss him/her and that you love them. Treasure him/her. Because it is difficult to be walking in the same pace...
Friday, November 12, 2004
happy bday day
ar.. today met jasleen in de morning around 11+... den went for a movie at suntec, walked around abit..
den we kinda went to a temple near suntec.. haha.. i made wish... if it comes true i'll go back and offer thanks sia...
walked frm redhill to tiong bahru also ba.. haha quite fun ba...
come evening, we went down to orchard for dinner, den met up with 1b23/1b24 ppl at jp to celebrate jinjing's bday... fun ba.. hehe... surprised to see li song dere also.. haha...
left early as 10 & jas lived quite far away... at home already.. ok la, quite a fun day ^^...
i dont like to feel young... 17 v young meh...
den we kinda went to a temple near suntec.. haha.. i made wish... if it comes true i'll go back and offer thanks sia...
walked frm redhill to tiong bahru also ba.. haha quite fun ba...
come evening, we went down to orchard for dinner, den met up with 1b23/1b24 ppl at jp to celebrate jinjing's bday... fun ba.. hehe... surprised to see li song dere also.. haha...
left early as 10 & jas lived quite far away... at home already.. ok la, quite a fun day ^^...
i dont like to feel young... 17 v young meh...
Thursday, November 11, 2004
dear blog...
i feel like deleting this blog... but i cant... i dunno.. i spent so much time on this... i don't bear to.... sigh...
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
tongue twister
if the person whom i think i love is not the person whom i love but the person whom i love to think that i love then why does it feel like the person whom i think i love is the person whom i love?
weird dream yesterday
Wa... I had this weird dream yesterday. It started like this...
I was walking in school, then suddenly everyone who knows me don't talk to me anymore. They just say a few words and leave. Then, the next moment I was at Orchard Road. I have no idea why but everyone who walked past me moved away. I was shocked. The next moment I was in my room, I looked into my full-height mirror and I got shocked as I was looking at a monster. It was a face which was small-eyed, small-nosed and small-mouthed. But it was a fat face with lots of imperfections and the shape was terrible. I was shocked! Then I told myself, I am dreaming.
Then I woke up, I immediately got off my bed and looked into the mirror. Not wearing specs, I had to look closer. OMG. It was the same face!
I woke up again. I walked over the the mirror and I saw that same pathetic face again. I was beginning to believe and accept that that was my face.
Then I woke up, this time it felt more obvious that I had actually woke up. It wasn't as cloudy as before. I then stepped in front of the exact same mirror and I was relieved to see my own face...
Whew.. what a stupid nightmare...
I was walking in school, then suddenly everyone who knows me don't talk to me anymore. They just say a few words and leave. Then, the next moment I was at Orchard Road. I have no idea why but everyone who walked past me moved away. I was shocked. The next moment I was in my room, I looked into my full-height mirror and I got shocked as I was looking at a monster. It was a face which was small-eyed, small-nosed and small-mouthed. But it was a fat face with lots of imperfections and the shape was terrible. I was shocked! Then I told myself, I am dreaming.
Then I woke up, I immediately got off my bed and looked into the mirror. Not wearing specs, I had to look closer. OMG. It was the same face!
I woke up again. I walked over the the mirror and I saw that same pathetic face again. I was beginning to believe and accept that that was my face.
Then I woke up, this time it felt more obvious that I had actually woke up. It wasn't as cloudy as before. I then stepped in front of the exact same mirror and I was relieved to see my own face...
Whew.. what a stupid nightmare...
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
harlow
harlow... ha.. today went to pulau ubin with jas ba.. v short trip.. haha... paiseh.. my cycling sux man.. :P... walked around abit as well... was fine ba...
tml gotta go for french sia.. sigh... the holidays are just.. i dunno.. it's just different...
recently abit affected sia.. i dunno.. i think i'm ok.. i'm ok.. sure... i dunno what's up with me... i'm weird....
jas mentioned, a guy can only be so frustrated over these three things; studies, family, love. i wonder what's up with me...
sigh.. i played de lilac time serenade thrice today.. it's written by this person called Schubert. He fell in love with this countess. But because of the fact that she's of royal blood, it was an impossible romance. Kinda sad when I think about it, but I think that he had her on his mind while he wrote this piece.
"I cry myself to sleep again tonight, cause I cannot hold you tight... Misery, is what I feel, when you're not around, so I can't heal..." Moffatts - Misery
tml gotta go for french sia.. sigh... the holidays are just.. i dunno.. it's just different...
recently abit affected sia.. i dunno.. i think i'm ok.. i'm ok.. sure... i dunno what's up with me... i'm weird....
jas mentioned, a guy can only be so frustrated over these three things; studies, family, love. i wonder what's up with me...
sigh.. i played de lilac time serenade thrice today.. it's written by this person called Schubert. He fell in love with this countess. But because of the fact that she's of royal blood, it was an impossible romance. Kinda sad when I think about it, but I think that he had her on his mind while he wrote this piece.
"I cry myself to sleep again tonight, cause I cannot hold you tight... Misery, is what I feel, when you're not around, so I can't heal..." Moffatts - Misery
they say that flying is fun
Humans weren't make to foretell the future, if we were able to do so, nothing in life would be interesting. How often have we hoped that we're able to foresee the future? When someone is about to have a child; when someone is having a crush; when someone is terminally ill; when someone is making an important decision; when someone is trying to win something. Almost anytime, either for important decisions or for insignificant ones.
:(........................................................................................
there's french tomorrow.... i really want to skip it.. but.. sigh....
:(........................................................................................
there's french tomorrow.... i really want to skip it.. but.. sigh....
What if I may?
I may want to say it, but I dare not.
I may want to tell you, but I dare not.
I may want to make it known, but I dare not.
What if you turn away in fear?
What if it's another you treasure?
What if I'm no one to you?
Je ne sais pas ce que je devrais faire.
thgin dna yad yreve dnim ym no syawla era uoy...
I may want to tell you, but I dare not.
I may want to make it known, but I dare not.
What if you turn away in fear?
What if it's another you treasure?
What if I'm no one to you?
Je ne sais pas ce que je devrais faire.
thgin dna yad yreve dnim ym no syawla era uoy...
Monday, November 08, 2004
Lyrics - 蔡淳佳 - 爱上你的时候
天蓝蓝我寻找所谓的爱
深埋在哪一片海
错过了以后再不回来
谁肯定我存在
那是你
爱上你的时候
世界瞬间也变得宽阔
飞翔在天际缤纷的彩虹
紧紧包围着我
心底的空白等你填满
为你我信仰等待
等待某一天你会回来
再肯定我的存在
很勇敢
爱上你的时候
天空也显得万里晴空
海风吹过带来了暖冬
花也变得温柔
飞离城市的云端
追寻远方的一片天空
你擦身而过
伸出双手
拥抱你给的梦
爱上你的时候
我学会向前走不回头
将悲伤的过去留在风中
做成长有的痛
那以往的美好深藏在心中
拾起一段故事
属于你我
深埋在哪一片海
错过了以后再不回来
谁肯定我存在
那是你
爱上你的时候
世界瞬间也变得宽阔
飞翔在天际缤纷的彩虹
紧紧包围着我
心底的空白等你填满
为你我信仰等待
等待某一天你会回来
再肯定我的存在
很勇敢
爱上你的时候
天空也显得万里晴空
海风吹过带来了暖冬
花也变得温柔
飞离城市的云端
追寻远方的一片天空
你擦身而过
伸出双手
拥抱你给的梦
爱上你的时候
我学会向前走不回头
将悲伤的过去留在风中
做成长有的痛
那以往的美好深藏在心中
拾起一段故事
属于你我
argh
wa tired ar.... walked alot today.. i think shld be ok by tml ba... :D... kinda looking forward to de next few days ba... ^_^...
dun feel like writing...
dun feel like writing...
troubled night....
sigh... it's 2.40am le... IT's 2.40!!.. i can't sleep... i dunno why.. v tired... v sian.. but i cant sleep... i think i gt mood swing again sia... :'(.... i try and i try but i'm just so awake.. sigh... i keep feeling like there's this gap in me, like it's a missing piece of a puzzle...
sigh.... when i call out to the heavens... all i see is a big black sky... god.. do u really exist? why? why do u make my life so miserable.. i'm feeling so terrible now... why cant i just sleep.. i need to wake at 8 tml.... argh........................ :'(............. tears........................................................................
something wrong with me tonight...
uoy gnissim...
sigh.... when i call out to the heavens... all i see is a big black sky... god.. do u really exist? why? why do u make my life so miserable.. i'm feeling so terrible now... why cant i just sleep.. i need to wake at 8 tml.... argh........................ :'(............. tears........................................................................
something wrong with me tonight...
uoy gnissim...
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Lyrics - Moffatts - Miss You Like Crazy
I used to call you my girl
I used to call you my friend
I used to call you the love
The love that I never had
When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again
[Chorus:]
I miss you like crazy
Even More than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
Girl I'm so down when your love's not around
I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy
You are all that I want
You are all that I need
Can't you see how I feel
Can't you see that my pain's so real
When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again
[Chorus]
I used to call you my friend
I used to call you the love
The love that I never had
When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again
[Chorus:]
I miss you like crazy
Even More than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
Girl I'm so down when your love's not around
I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy
You are all that I want
You are all that I need
Can't you see how I feel
Can't you see that my pain's so real
When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again
[Chorus]
Saturday, November 06, 2004
will you still love me tomorrow
http://www.miluku.com/chn/newyear/tangtomorrow.htm
Love is like an ice-cream, it's sweet and wonderful while it lasts but once it melts off, it will be nothing.
Once you feel that there's love, you should either savour it like an ice-cream, or never regret once it has melted.
I wonder who the next ice-cream will come from? Or have I never tasted it before?
Love is like an ice-cream, it's sweet and wonderful while it lasts but once it melts off, it will be nothing.
Once you feel that there's love, you should either savour it like an ice-cream, or never regret once it has melted.
I wonder who the next ice-cream will come from? Or have I never tasted it before?
Friday, November 05, 2004
yo...
WA... exams are FINALLY over... thank goodness..... sian sian sian... kk nothing much to say.... today's vb is really boring.... i left at 3... only 1 hr into the 2 hr paper.. hahaha... kk ta
Thursday, November 04, 2004
yoyo
today is thursday.. tml is friday!!! 星期五 金曜日 Vendredi ya depends on ur language ba :P
can go escape wor, ahaha... yay i'm happpy ba..
can go escape wor, ahaha... yay i'm happpy ba..
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
1030 le
1030 le.. the sun is shining brightly.. i finished reading all the notes for my vb... i think i have memorized them already... i hope so... it's really depressing...
Lyrics - Liang Jing Ru - Ru Guo You Yi Tian
现在也只能欣赏 唯一的合照一张
Now I can only appreciate, the only photo we took together.
淡忘了的是那个街角 想念的是当时的微笑
What's been forgotten is that street corner, what I miss is your laughter then.
生活中交错失望 越想念就越孤单
In life, we have staggering disappointments. The more we miss the more we feel lonely.
若再被寂寞迎头赶上 多感伤原来只是正常
If we get hit by loneliness again direct, no matter how painful, it is only normal.
你是不是也在品尝 一个人的咖啡和天光
Are you also tasting, the coffee and sunlight alone.
是不是也忽然察觉到 多出时间看天色的变换
Did you suddenly realize, and spend more time looking at the changes in the sky.
如果有一天 我们再见面 时间会不会倒退一点
If there comes a day, where we meet again, will time take a step back?
也许我们都忽略 互相伤害之外的感觉
Maybe we have neglected, the feelings apart from our hurt.
如果哪一天 我们都发现 好聚好散不过是种遮掩
If that day, we discover that our meeting and parting were just a cover up.
如果我们没发现 就给彼此多一点时间
If we did not discover, let's just give each other some more time.
生活中交错失望 越想念就越孤单
In life, we have staggering disappointments. The more we miss the more we feel lonely.
若再被寂寞迎头赶上 多感伤原来只是正常
If we get hit by loneliness again direct, no matter how painful, it is only normal.
你是不是也在品尝 一个人的咖啡和天光
Are you also tasting, the coffee and sunlight alone.
是不是也忽然察觉到 多出时间看天色的变换
Did you suddenly realize, and spend more time looking at the changes in the sky.
如果有一天 我们再见面 时间会不会倒退一点
If there comes a day, where we meet again, will time take a step back?
也许我们都忽略 互相伤害之外的感觉
Maybe we have neglected, the feelings apart from our hurt.
如果哪一天 我们都发现 好聚好散不过是种遮掩
If that day, we discover that our meeting and parting were just a cover up.
如果我们没发现 就给彼此多一点时间
If we did not discover, let's just give each other some more time.
如果有一天 我们再见面 时间会不会倒退一点
If there comes a day, where we meet again, will time take a step back?
也许我们都忽略 互相伤害之外的感觉
Maybe we have neglected, the feelings apart from our hurt.
如果哪一天 我们都发现 好聚好散不过是种遮掩
If that day, we discover that our meeting and parting were just a cover up.
如果我们没发现 就给彼此多一点时间
If we did not discover, let's just give each other some more time.
Now I can only appreciate, the only photo we took together.
淡忘了的是那个街角 想念的是当时的微笑
What's been forgotten is that street corner, what I miss is your laughter then.
生活中交错失望 越想念就越孤单
In life, we have staggering disappointments. The more we miss the more we feel lonely.
若再被寂寞迎头赶上 多感伤原来只是正常
If we get hit by loneliness again direct, no matter how painful, it is only normal.
你是不是也在品尝 一个人的咖啡和天光
Are you also tasting, the coffee and sunlight alone.
是不是也忽然察觉到 多出时间看天色的变换
Did you suddenly realize, and spend more time looking at the changes in the sky.
如果有一天 我们再见面 时间会不会倒退一点
If there comes a day, where we meet again, will time take a step back?
也许我们都忽略 互相伤害之外的感觉
Maybe we have neglected, the feelings apart from our hurt.
如果哪一天 我们都发现 好聚好散不过是种遮掩
If that day, we discover that our meeting and parting were just a cover up.
如果我们没发现 就给彼此多一点时间
If we did not discover, let's just give each other some more time.
生活中交错失望 越想念就越孤单
In life, we have staggering disappointments. The more we miss the more we feel lonely.
若再被寂寞迎头赶上 多感伤原来只是正常
If we get hit by loneliness again direct, no matter how painful, it is only normal.
你是不是也在品尝 一个人的咖啡和天光
Are you also tasting, the coffee and sunlight alone.
是不是也忽然察觉到 多出时间看天色的变换
Did you suddenly realize, and spend more time looking at the changes in the sky.
如果有一天 我们再见面 时间会不会倒退一点
If there comes a day, where we meet again, will time take a step back?
也许我们都忽略 互相伤害之外的感觉
Maybe we have neglected, the feelings apart from our hurt.
如果哪一天 我们都发现 好聚好散不过是种遮掩
If that day, we discover that our meeting and parting were just a cover up.
如果我们没发现 就给彼此多一点时间
If we did not discover, let's just give each other some more time.
如果有一天 我们再见面 时间会不会倒退一点
If there comes a day, where we meet again, will time take a step back?
也许我们都忽略 互相伤害之外的感觉
Maybe we have neglected, the feelings apart from our hurt.
如果哪一天 我们都发现 好聚好散不过是种遮掩
If that day, we discover that our meeting and parting were just a cover up.
如果我们没发现 就给彼此多一点时间
If we did not discover, let's just give each other some more time.
argh....
woke up at 8 plus today.. tired.. reached home nearing 12 yesterday... goodness sia.... sigh.. I'm gonna have till only 1 to study.. then i'll have to rush down already... this is so tiring... but nvm... i'll just go because I respect them.. i respect my late grandma.. i mean.. it's true, without her i wont be here... but i just cannot stand the rituals.. thank goodness today's only the cremation... but i'll still have to be wearing the funeral clothing and i'll have to be barefooted... man...
just for the record, if ever i die, i would prefer a christian funeral. I wouldn't want my children to suffer what i did.
just for the record, if ever i die, i would prefer a christian funeral. I wouldn't want my children to suffer what i did.
Funeral 2
Went down at around 8.30pm today. Missed around 2 sessions. Too bad, couldn't be helped. Did you want me to miss my exams because of this? I think not.
Road To Hell
We were gathered in the lines again. Males, then females. Then the void deck was 'decorated' with lots of stuff. There were these pots of plants laid out in two rows, signifying the forest. Then there was also this mini bridge. This was supposed to be the Nai He Qiao. Which was the bridge the dead crossed. It is legend that there will be a lady on this bridge who will serve you this bowl of soup which will make you forget your entire life. So first HXG started to chant and stuff, then we followed her around the place, going here, there, everywhere for like half an hour. Then we crossed the bridge seven times. Each time throwing some coins into this bowl (the coins were provided by them of course. I heard they changed around $500 into coins..). This was supposed to be like as if we were crossing the bridge with our grandmother. Yea, ok, I hope it is, or it would've been a complete waste of time. The smoke was killing my eyes.
Fiery Heavens
Then we took the house, car, etc. out to burn. The fire was so big, so gigantic. It was like an inferno, threatening to grab every single thing in its path and burn them to oblivion. It rose so high and everyone started to bow and praise this raging inferno. Sorry, not me, I choose not to worship this burning bunch of paper. Then we returned to the void deck. Oh, and did I mention? We were BAREfooted all the way.
Possession
Then she started to run around and chant and stuff. I think this time she gets possessed by some Indian or Tibetan god/goddess. Yeah, then she starts to mutter incomprehensible (maybe only comprehensible to her) stuff. Then once it was finished, thank the heavens. I'm back home.
Oh btw, one funny thing i noticed was that while she was standing in the middle of the road, a car came, and she had to give way to the car. I was like, wow, the goddess gave way to the car. Haha.. Wad a big irony.
Road To Hell
We were gathered in the lines again. Males, then females. Then the void deck was 'decorated' with lots of stuff. There were these pots of plants laid out in two rows, signifying the forest. Then there was also this mini bridge. This was supposed to be the Nai He Qiao. Which was the bridge the dead crossed. It is legend that there will be a lady on this bridge who will serve you this bowl of soup which will make you forget your entire life. So first HXG started to chant and stuff, then we followed her around the place, going here, there, everywhere for like half an hour. Then we crossed the bridge seven times. Each time throwing some coins into this bowl (the coins were provided by them of course. I heard they changed around $500 into coins..). This was supposed to be like as if we were crossing the bridge with our grandmother. Yea, ok, I hope it is, or it would've been a complete waste of time. The smoke was killing my eyes.
Fiery Heavens
Then we took the house, car, etc. out to burn. The fire was so big, so gigantic. It was like an inferno, threatening to grab every single thing in its path and burn them to oblivion. It rose so high and everyone started to bow and praise this raging inferno. Sorry, not me, I choose not to worship this burning bunch of paper. Then we returned to the void deck. Oh, and did I mention? We were BAREfooted all the way.
Possession
Then she started to run around and chant and stuff. I think this time she gets possessed by some Indian or Tibetan god/goddess. Yeah, then she starts to mutter incomprehensible (maybe only comprehensible to her) stuff. Then once it was finished, thank the heavens. I'm back home.
Oh btw, one funny thing i noticed was that while she was standing in the middle of the road, a car came, and she had to give way to the car. I was like, wow, the goddess gave way to the car. Haha.. Wad a big irony.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
You'll never know.
The following story is fictional.
You'll Never Know
by ccjx
It all began when I saw you last semester. Your mesmerizing eyes captivated me right from the start. I wanted to know you, but you were never easy to find. It may have been just a crush or an infatuation from the start, but I knew that it was leading elsewhere. Everytime I saw you it was like I was dreaming.
Remember the time when you dropped your file along the way to your class? I was there. I came over and helped you to pick up your papers. I felt really happy to be able to help you. I was even more delighted when you smiled at me with your beautiful smile and said, "Thank you." I walked away shyly.
There was a time when you were hurt. You slipped and cut yourself. My heart ached. I saw your friend rush off to get some plaster for you. Intercepting your friend, I gave her the few medicated plasters I had with me, and some tissue, just in case you needed them. You never knew who I was because I never left a name. I saw your friend applying the plasters unto your leg. I felt happier because you smiled. But you never wondered who they were from.
After the finals, you were devastated. You did not get a single A, only mostly B's. "Why? Why is it so?" you cried. My heart was broken. I only had D's. If I could fail one of mine to make one of yours an A I would. But I couldn't. I saw him coming over to comfort you. He lay he arm over your shoulder. "Don't cry, it's OK," he whispered to you. You burst into tears and lay on his arm. I wish I was him.
Soon, you were going out with him. I could see that you were happy. But you knew that you were missing something. Everytime he smiled, I could see you smile, but only for awhile. Why? I did not know. But I knew that there was a void in you that he couldn't fill. I could, but I didn't have the courage to let you know. You went with him to everywhere, I followed sometimes, only to end up with heartaches as I see how happily you cuddled with him.
One day while I was walking alone in Town, I saw you. You were sitting by the side on a little stone chair. You were crying. You were alone. Why? Did he leave you? I didn't know. I took out the only packet of tissue I had. Rushing to you, I placed it on your lap, then I ran away. I turned around. You saw me. But you have forgotten who I am. You walked over to me. I was delighted.
"Who are you?" You asked innocently while looking at me. I just smiled, "Your guardian angel." I then walked away. I wouldn't dare speak another word. Your presence intimidated me. I was like an ant in front of you. I was so silly.
Now, I see you walking down the isle with him. Another him. But you are happy with him. I guess you had forgotten who I am. It's OK. As long as you are happy, I am fine. The wedding march was being played on the grand piano. You are walking down the isle of the church with him. You turn over and our eyes met for awhile. But your look told me that you have forgotten who I was, what I did and who I am. You turned away.
You'll Never Know
by ccjx
It all began when I saw you last semester. Your mesmerizing eyes captivated me right from the start. I wanted to know you, but you were never easy to find. It may have been just a crush or an infatuation from the start, but I knew that it was leading elsewhere. Everytime I saw you it was like I was dreaming.
Remember the time when you dropped your file along the way to your class? I was there. I came over and helped you to pick up your papers. I felt really happy to be able to help you. I was even more delighted when you smiled at me with your beautiful smile and said, "Thank you." I walked away shyly.
There was a time when you were hurt. You slipped and cut yourself. My heart ached. I saw your friend rush off to get some plaster for you. Intercepting your friend, I gave her the few medicated plasters I had with me, and some tissue, just in case you needed them. You never knew who I was because I never left a name. I saw your friend applying the plasters unto your leg. I felt happier because you smiled. But you never wondered who they were from.
After the finals, you were devastated. You did not get a single A, only mostly B's. "Why? Why is it so?" you cried. My heart was broken. I only had D's. If I could fail one of mine to make one of yours an A I would. But I couldn't. I saw him coming over to comfort you. He lay he arm over your shoulder. "Don't cry, it's OK," he whispered to you. You burst into tears and lay on his arm. I wish I was him.
Soon, you were going out with him. I could see that you were happy. But you knew that you were missing something. Everytime he smiled, I could see you smile, but only for awhile. Why? I did not know. But I knew that there was a void in you that he couldn't fill. I could, but I didn't have the courage to let you know. You went with him to everywhere, I followed sometimes, only to end up with heartaches as I see how happily you cuddled with him.
One day while I was walking alone in Town, I saw you. You were sitting by the side on a little stone chair. You were crying. You were alone. Why? Did he leave you? I didn't know. I took out the only packet of tissue I had. Rushing to you, I placed it on your lap, then I ran away. I turned around. You saw me. But you have forgotten who I am. You walked over to me. I was delighted.
"Who are you?" You asked innocently while looking at me. I just smiled, "Your guardian angel." I then walked away. I wouldn't dare speak another word. Your presence intimidated me. I was like an ant in front of you. I was so silly.
Now, I see you walking down the isle with him. Another him. But you are happy with him. I guess you had forgotten who I am. It's OK. As long as you are happy, I am fine. The wedding march was being played on the grand piano. You are walking down the isle of the church with him. You turn over and our eyes met for awhile. But your look told me that you have forgotten who I was, what I did and who I am. You turned away.
Complicated Life
Ha.. You used to think that life was complicated. I mean, look at this,
1 + 1 = 2
Isn't it difficult enough? Oh ya so you think. Then when you come to Poly, you learn that
1 + 1 = 2 (decimal system)
1 + 1 = 10 (binary numbers)
1 + 1 = 1 (boolean algebra)
Wow, life has just reached another level of complication.
But whoever it was who told me that Poly was slack, please just take this knife and kill yourself. Thanks for the favour.
K back to studying...
1 + 1 = 2
Isn't it difficult enough? Oh ya so you think. Then when you come to Poly, you learn that
1 + 1 = 2 (decimal system)
1 + 1 = 10 (binary numbers)
1 + 1 = 1 (boolean algebra)
Wow, life has just reached another level of complication.
But whoever it was who told me that Poly was slack, please just take this knife and kill yourself. Thanks for the favour.
K back to studying...
More Than A Friend
by Atlas
You're more than a friend
I felt it from the start
Something gripped inside me
And wrapped around my heart
I cant explain what happen
Nor do i care to try
Should i act upon my urge
Or do i let it pass by?
I try not to analyze
What fate has in store
Although I have my wishes
For whats behind the door
Maybe I'm a fool
For beleiving what I feel
It could be just "a thing"
But yet it seems so real
As long days pass me by
Time will only tell
If you and i are meant to be
Fate will wish us well
So as i wait for answers
Your friend i will always be
Loving you from a distance
As you're a friend to me
Monday, November 01, 2004
Lyrics - Cake - I Will Survive
Lyrics - Cake - I Will Survive
At first I was afraid, I was petrified
I kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights just thinking how you’ve done me wrong
And I grew strong, I learned how to get along
And so you're back from outer space,
I just walked in to find you here with that, that look upon your face
I should have changed my fucking lock
I would have made you leave your key
If I’d have known for just one second you'd be back to bother me.
Oh now go, walk out the door
Just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore.
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh not I, I will survive
Yeah, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll be alive.
I've got all my life to live,
I've got all my love to give,
I will survive
I will survive
Yeah, yeah...
(SOLO)
It took all the strength I had just not to fall apart,
I’m tryin' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights just feelin' sorry for myself,
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high.
And you’ll see me with somebody new
I'm not that stupid little person still in love with you.
And so you thought you’d just drop by and you expect me to be free,
But now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's lovin' me,
Oh now go, walk out the door.
Just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore.
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh not I, I will survive
Yeah, as long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive,
I've got all my life to live,
I've got all my love to give,
I will survive
I will survive
Yeah, yeah…
At first I was afraid, I was petrified
I kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights just thinking how you’ve done me wrong
And I grew strong, I learned how to get along
And so you're back from outer space,
I just walked in to find you here with that, that look upon your face
I should have changed my fucking lock
I would have made you leave your key
If I’d have known for just one second you'd be back to bother me.
Oh now go, walk out the door
Just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore.
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh not I, I will survive
Yeah, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll be alive.
I've got all my life to live,
I've got all my love to give,
I will survive
I will survive
Yeah, yeah...
(SOLO)
It took all the strength I had just not to fall apart,
I’m tryin' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights just feelin' sorry for myself,
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high.
And you’ll see me with somebody new
I'm not that stupid little person still in love with you.
And so you thought you’d just drop by and you expect me to be free,
But now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's lovin' me,
Oh now go, walk out the door.
Just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore.
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh not I, I will survive
Yeah, as long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive,
I've got all my life to live,
I've got all my love to give,
I will survive
I will survive
Yeah, yeah…
Flying
Once, everyone thought that flying was impossible.
If you asked, "Do you think it'll be possible to fly?" They will answer, "What are you thinking of? Do not utter nonsense on this beautiful day."
Flying was like something which was never thought of. It is like how we think of the speed of light today. We will never achieve it, it is never possible.
Thank goodness the Wright brothers didn't think so. They persevered and finally came up with the first flying plane. What if it's the same for everything?
Nothing is impossible. If something is, it's just that it hasn't been tried yet.
sigh
If you asked, "Do you think it'll be possible to fly?" They will answer, "What are you thinking of? Do not utter nonsense on this beautiful day."
Flying was like something which was never thought of. It is like how we think of the speed of light today. We will never achieve it, it is never possible.
Thank goodness the Wright brothers didn't think so. They persevered and finally came up with the first flying plane. What if it's the same for everything?
Nothing is impossible. If something is, it's just that it hasn't been tried yet.
sigh
Funeral
Today went over from around 6 to 11. It was tiring.. I swear... I shall now talk about my experience...
Background Information
My first aunt (eldest aunt), has actually became a goddess (don't ask me why) around 20 years ago. Known her He Xian Gu, she has her own temple somewhere (don't ask me where, I forgot). She does Taoist rituals here and there.
The Unpossession
First when I got to the void deck there, everyone was sitting down. I heard from my dad that He Xian Gu (will be known as HXG) was asking her ex-siblings (no longer considered as she has became a goddess) whether or not they would like to have their sister (my 1st aunt) come back into the body. One of my aunt said yes, so the ritual started. HXG sat on a chair, accompanied by her disciples around here, after awhile she just fell like as if she fainted. Then she awoke and started to cry. She started to moan my late grandmother (her mother). She cried, shouted, and hit her head against the table a few times (rather disturbing).
She then started to call all her siblings back to chat. Saying that she has missed them alot and such. After chatting, she sat there for awhile. Then after awhile she just fell flat on the ground. Upon awaking, she was back to HXG again...
Session 1
The head disciple of HXG knocked on the side of this copper (my guess) thing which made this loud gong sound. We all gathered. She then chanted while we kneeled there for I think around an hour. It was the time that a joss-stick needs to burn off totally. I was kneeling! Can you imagine? Finally it finished and we sat at the chairs and such and chatted and ate.
Session 2
The head disciple knocked on it again. This time we took de joss-stick and followed her around the whole place, running around in a straight line like ants rushing to food that they have found. Fast then slow, fast then slow. It lasted one joss-stick again. We were then asked to sit down while she chanted. Then after one joss-stick time, it ended. Omg... That was tiring... Yea same as always we went back to the chairs again.
Session 3
Yes, yes, we all know. Knock knock knock, gong gong gong.. Irritating noise... This time we are sitting at the two sides of the void deck in two straight lines. One line male, one female. She then did a lot of running in the middle around three I dunno what's that... I think they are like cups with oil and this little flame on the top. She had a little stick with this unlighted lantern on her back. It was supposed to represent my grandma. HXG was 'carrying' my grandma. She was bringing her through the different places to reach the 'final city'. Her head disciple was throwing paper money everywhere in order to buy her the road to the 'final city'. Ya, by then it was around another two joss-sticks already. Then I finally got to go back. Whew...
Yup and then I'm here typing this already.. ^_^... k that's all lor, hope u had fun reading..
Background Information
My first aunt (eldest aunt), has actually became a goddess (don't ask me why) around 20 years ago. Known her He Xian Gu, she has her own temple somewhere (don't ask me where, I forgot). She does Taoist rituals here and there.
The Unpossession
First when I got to the void deck there, everyone was sitting down. I heard from my dad that He Xian Gu (will be known as HXG) was asking her ex-siblings (no longer considered as she has became a goddess) whether or not they would like to have their sister (my 1st aunt) come back into the body. One of my aunt said yes, so the ritual started. HXG sat on a chair, accompanied by her disciples around here, after awhile she just fell like as if she fainted. Then she awoke and started to cry. She started to moan my late grandmother (her mother). She cried, shouted, and hit her head against the table a few times (rather disturbing).
She then started to call all her siblings back to chat. Saying that she has missed them alot and such. After chatting, she sat there for awhile. Then after awhile she just fell flat on the ground. Upon awaking, she was back to HXG again...
Session 1
The head disciple of HXG knocked on the side of this copper (my guess) thing which made this loud gong sound. We all gathered. She then chanted while we kneeled there for I think around an hour. It was the time that a joss-stick needs to burn off totally. I was kneeling! Can you imagine? Finally it finished and we sat at the chairs and such and chatted and ate.
Session 2
The head disciple knocked on it again. This time we took de joss-stick and followed her around the whole place, running around in a straight line like ants rushing to food that they have found. Fast then slow, fast then slow. It lasted one joss-stick again. We were then asked to sit down while she chanted. Then after one joss-stick time, it ended. Omg... That was tiring... Yea same as always we went back to the chairs again.
Session 3
Yes, yes, we all know. Knock knock knock, gong gong gong.. Irritating noise... This time we are sitting at the two sides of the void deck in two straight lines. One line male, one female. She then did a lot of running in the middle around three I dunno what's that... I think they are like cups with oil and this little flame on the top. She had a little stick with this unlighted lantern on her back. It was supposed to represent my grandma. HXG was 'carrying' my grandma. She was bringing her through the different places to reach the 'final city'. Her head disciple was throwing paper money everywhere in order to buy her the road to the 'final city'. Ya, by then it was around another two joss-sticks already. Then I finally got to go back. Whew...
Yup and then I'm here typing this already.. ^_^... k that's all lor, hope u had fun reading..
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