I don't believe in doing so.
Love isn't about loving someone whom you feel is imperfect as if he/she's perfect.
Love isn't about finding someone who is totally perfect.
When the real love comes, even someone who's totally imperfect will be seen as perfect to you.
That is the real love, no compromises.
Never settle for second best, you'll only live to regret it, causing pain to others.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Time Limit On Love
What if you were to die soon?
Wouldn't you want to spend every moment with the person whom you love?
Wouldn't you cherish every single second you spend with that person?
Wouldn't every minute feel like a day to you?
Why can't every love be like this?
Why do we choose to neglect the people who are with us?
Maybe you should just pretend to be as if you were going to die, then you will cherish the times you spend together with each other... Living each moment like as if it was the last...
Wouldn't you want to spend every moment with the person whom you love?
Wouldn't you cherish every single second you spend with that person?
Wouldn't every minute feel like a day to you?
Why can't every love be like this?
Why do we choose to neglect the people who are with us?
Maybe you should just pretend to be as if you were going to die, then you will cherish the times you spend together with each other... Living each moment like as if it was the last...
Aiyoh... Argh!! haha...
Woke up at like 3pm today.. wa tired sia.... nobody's online.. everyone must've died or smth.. haha....
Anyway, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
Anyway, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
Christmas 2004
Today's blog is pretty long and detailed. For those who hate details, just read the Summary, otherwise you can continue to the Introduction.
Summary
Introduction
Wa... This was the best Christmas I ever had! Hope next year will be as good, yah?! :D... Let me tell all of you about how my Christmas went :D...
Epilogue of Java Lesson
"Class, once you have finished Practical 3 you can leave," Miss Junie Tan was telling the class as some of them struggled to complete their practicals. I was sitting by my computer, doing Practical 5 as I waited for Jacilyn to complete her practical. It was 10.30am. I was so bored that I did extra questions that required knowledge of stuff which has not been taught to us by the teacher yet. How nice, I'm sure that Jacilyn will be done soon.
It was 11am. I was SUPER bored.. Thanks to the NumberFormat class thingy that made me search everywhere just to learn it... Ah, let me ask Jacilyn if she's done yet... "Eh, you finish liao not?"
"I was waiting for you!!" came the reply from Jacilyn. I was semi-stunned. Haha..
"Don't waste time le, let's go." I replied. Then we immediate took our bags and in one swift action, press the logout buttons in our start menus. We left the computer lab.
Leaving the place, Jaci contacted Samantha, Cindy and Rowenna. They weren't ready, of course, thanks to the fact that we were supposed to end at 12pm. Haha...
Jacilyn and I took a bus down to Cineleisure straight from school. I think it was a 106. In between, she went to this private appartment to look for her friend to pass some documents, but her friend wasn't there.
K-ing At Cineleisure The Christmas Way
Jacilyn and I were the first to arrive, then came Samantha (CJC). We checked in first, of course, before waiting for our other friends to arrive. Initially, we were given a small room, just enough for 2 - 4 people. We requested to change to a bigger room as another person was coming, they agreed, and we went off to the larger KBox karaoke room.
We sang a few songs and HweeKiang arrived. Then another few songs and Cindy (SAJC) arrived. Then everyone sang a few songs before 3pm arrived, which brought the server to come and rush us out, gently, of course.
Here at Heeren, Then To Orchard
After we finished KBox-ing, we left for Heeren, where they shopped abit. Then I saw one of my friend, I can't remember her name but I recall that she' s from Fairfield. :D. Graduated as well.
Then we went to the Paragon where they shopped at Quiksilver. I saw YenPing (Fairfield grad) there with a few friends ^_^...
Then they did not know what to do at all, and started to hang around. They ended up at Wisma Atrium, looking at slippers and bags at this shop upstairs. I bumped into Joanne (LKBC church) there. Was weird, had only bumped into her recently ^_^.
Leaving the shop, everyone wanted to sit at some place to have a drink and relax. We wanted to go to the Coffee Club at Wisma Atria at first, but it was pretty crowded, so we went to the one at Takashimaya. We queued and waited for awhile while looking at the gigantic Christmas tree below. When there was space, we got in. Samantha left.
Coffee Clubbing
We ordered some stuff to drink. Then some of them ordered some stuff to eat. It was about 4-5pm at that time. Was really funny when Rowenna was playing with the chocolate fondue. LoL.. Please do not do that again, or I will have constant repeated nightmares every night. Haha...
Eileen called and said that she was coming, and she came at the right moment, the moment while we were leaving. Haha.. We left as Eileen needed to help her brother get some stuff.
Bokutachi wa Takashimaya e itte, Heeren e itta (We went to Takashimaya, then went to Heeren)
Went to Takashimaya, saw this interesting Mari Mari Marimo? Looks like grass but grows like shit. Lol.. It's basically a small ball of grass that can grow to a big ball of grass... It is harvested from some part of Japan and it is a real underwater plant. It is also endangered. But then, why the hell would they be exporting endangered species? Makes no stupid sense.
They looked abit, and we left. After Taka, we went to Lucky Plaza as they wanted to check their handphone prices. Then we went to this Singtel service centre. Then we went to Heeren again. Suddenly, HweeKiang's phone rang, and her sis needed help getting into a billiard centre. We were about to leave. Then, I bumped into Dorothy. Haha... Yup. Then said hi, merry christmas, then bye. Then we left.
Nous rencontrons la soeur. (We meet the sister.)
We went out of Heeren and we were looking around. There was this little gadget sale thingy there but the gadgets weren't very interesting and appealing. Haha... Boring! Then HK's sis and friends came. The sister was Jolin and the friend was Rachel and another girl whose name I have forgotten.
We went to Cappage Plaza (I think so.. I can't remember the name..) . It's somewhere inbetween Plaza Singapura and Centerpoint. They went to book two tables. We waited outside for quite awhile before getting the tables. At this point, the people present were Jacilyn, Rowenna, HweeKiang, Cindy, Rachel, Jolin, Jolin's another friend (so sorry I forgot your name) and me.
We pooled for awhile and Rachel, Jolin, Jolin's other friend had to leave. They closed the table. Then we finished one last game and we closed the table as well. Then we left. At that time, it was about 11.05pm. Whoever was left was Rowenna, Cindy, HweeKiang, Jacilyn and me.
D:Day, H:Hour, M:Minute, S:Second
We walked abit, then we got sprayed by some early party starters. We were like.. OMG WTF????!!! Huh????? Then suddenly chaos was around us. We had to leave that area. LoL.. So we regrouped and used some of our financial supplies to procure us some weapons. Hahaha... We bought about 2 strip sprays and 8 foam sprays altogther. Then we sprayed each other first. Hahaha... Friendly Fire!!!
Of course, the stupid strip sprays lasted no more than a short while. Boring... So we took out the foam sprays. Haha... Oh.. we received info that HK's sis and Rachel were near Cineleisure. So we went over to Cineleisure. Ahh, pretended that we wanted to wish them Merry Christmas, then we sprayed hell over them. Haha... They were so pissed, I think Rachel wanted to pry my spray can away from me or something, haha...
Then we went around Orchard spraying at people, of course in return getting sprayed back as well. Haha... that was the fun part...
There was this instance when this bald guy walked past and someone sprayed something on his head. So I sprayed a whole lot on his head as well. Haha.... At least now he has white foam hair :P..
Then Rachel wanted revenge on me you see. But she does a very bad job at choosing the timing. She went like, "Clarence.." I turned, "Ya?" And this stream of foam came flying in my direction. LOL... I turned away.. but my head was getting spammed by foam.. Haha.. Then I sent a stream flying back in her direction. It hit someone else. Then she shot back, which hit someone else as well. Then suddenly, EVERYONE was shooting. HAhahaha.. There were about 10 people there.. LOL... Yea.. we all emerged as Frosty lookalikes. :P... THANKS ar Rachel... start a war sia.. haha..
The Aftermath
There were much more shooting. Then we ran out of foam. So the war ended. Haha.. At least for us.. On the way to the MRT station, we caught sight of two people fighting. For some crazy reason I guess. So we decided to use another way to get to the MRT station.
At the station area it was really goddamn packed. So, we changed and left for Wheelock Place. Over there, everyone said their good byes and planned on how to leave the place.
I crossed the road and took bus 132 and went home. Ahhhh... was a fine day... hehe...
It's 3.23am now. I started typing at 2.01am.. Haha... K la.. I hope everyone else enjoyed their christmas'es as well. K la.. Merry Christmas! Esp to those who went to town with me, Jacilyn, Samantha, HweeKiang, Rowenna, Cindy, Jolin, Rachel, Jolin's other fren (:P). And to everyone else whom I know! ^_^... Hope I didn't miss anyone out :D... K la... tatatata....
ccjx out.
Summary
- Ended School at 11am
- Went to Cine Kbox
- Met up with friends
- Went around Orchard
- Met some friends (total of 4)
- Chilled at Coffee Club
- Walked around Town
- Played pool at Cuppage Plaza
- Bought foam sprays
- Sprayed foam
- Partied like crazy at Orchard Road
- Left Orchard around 1.20am
Introduction
Wa... This was the best Christmas I ever had! Hope next year will be as good, yah?! :D... Let me tell all of you about how my Christmas went :D...
Epilogue of Java Lesson
"Class, once you have finished Practical 3 you can leave," Miss Junie Tan was telling the class as some of them struggled to complete their practicals. I was sitting by my computer, doing Practical 5 as I waited for Jacilyn to complete her practical. It was 10.30am. I was so bored that I did extra questions that required knowledge of stuff which has not been taught to us by the teacher yet. How nice, I'm sure that Jacilyn will be done soon.
It was 11am. I was SUPER bored.. Thanks to the NumberFormat class thingy that made me search everywhere just to learn it... Ah, let me ask Jacilyn if she's done yet... "Eh, you finish liao not?"
"I was waiting for you!!" came the reply from Jacilyn. I was semi-stunned. Haha..
"Don't waste time le, let's go." I replied. Then we immediate took our bags and in one swift action, press the logout buttons in our start menus. We left the computer lab.
Leaving the place, Jaci contacted Samantha, Cindy and Rowenna. They weren't ready, of course, thanks to the fact that we were supposed to end at 12pm. Haha...
Jacilyn and I took a bus down to Cineleisure straight from school. I think it was a 106. In between, she went to this private appartment to look for her friend to pass some documents, but her friend wasn't there.
K-ing At Cineleisure The Christmas Way
Jacilyn and I were the first to arrive, then came Samantha (CJC). We checked in first, of course, before waiting for our other friends to arrive. Initially, we were given a small room, just enough for 2 - 4 people. We requested to change to a bigger room as another person was coming, they agreed, and we went off to the larger KBox karaoke room.
We sang a few songs and HweeKiang arrived. Then another few songs and Cindy (SAJC) arrived. Then everyone sang a few songs before 3pm arrived, which brought the server to come and rush us out, gently, of course.
Here at Heeren, Then To Orchard
After we finished KBox-ing, we left for Heeren, where they shopped abit. Then I saw one of my friend, I can't remember her name but I recall that she' s from Fairfield. :D. Graduated as well.
Then we went to the Paragon where they shopped at Quiksilver. I saw YenPing (Fairfield grad) there with a few friends ^_^...
Then they did not know what to do at all, and started to hang around. They ended up at Wisma Atrium, looking at slippers and bags at this shop upstairs. I bumped into Joanne (LKBC church) there. Was weird, had only bumped into her recently ^_^.
Leaving the shop, everyone wanted to sit at some place to have a drink and relax. We wanted to go to the Coffee Club at Wisma Atria at first, but it was pretty crowded, so we went to the one at Takashimaya. We queued and waited for awhile while looking at the gigantic Christmas tree below. When there was space, we got in. Samantha left.
Coffee Clubbing
We ordered some stuff to drink. Then some of them ordered some stuff to eat. It was about 4-5pm at that time. Was really funny when Rowenna was playing with the chocolate fondue. LoL.. Please do not do that again, or I will have constant repeated nightmares every night. Haha...
Eileen called and said that she was coming, and she came at the right moment, the moment while we were leaving. Haha.. We left as Eileen needed to help her brother get some stuff.
Bokutachi wa Takashimaya e itte, Heeren e itta (We went to Takashimaya, then went to Heeren)
Went to Takashimaya, saw this interesting Mari Mari Marimo? Looks like grass but grows like shit. Lol.. It's basically a small ball of grass that can grow to a big ball of grass... It is harvested from some part of Japan and it is a real underwater plant. It is also endangered. But then, why the hell would they be exporting endangered species? Makes no stupid sense.
They looked abit, and we left. After Taka, we went to Lucky Plaza as they wanted to check their handphone prices. Then we went to this Singtel service centre. Then we went to Heeren again. Suddenly, HweeKiang's phone rang, and her sis needed help getting into a billiard centre. We were about to leave. Then, I bumped into Dorothy. Haha... Yup. Then said hi, merry christmas, then bye. Then we left.
Nous rencontrons la soeur. (We meet the sister.)
We went out of Heeren and we were looking around. There was this little gadget sale thingy there but the gadgets weren't very interesting and appealing. Haha... Boring! Then HK's sis and friends came. The sister was Jolin and the friend was Rachel and another girl whose name I have forgotten.
We went to Cappage Plaza (I think so.. I can't remember the name..) . It's somewhere inbetween Plaza Singapura and Centerpoint. They went to book two tables. We waited outside for quite awhile before getting the tables. At this point, the people present were Jacilyn, Rowenna, HweeKiang, Cindy, Rachel, Jolin, Jolin's another friend (so sorry I forgot your name) and me.
We pooled for awhile and Rachel, Jolin, Jolin's other friend had to leave. They closed the table. Then we finished one last game and we closed the table as well. Then we left. At that time, it was about 11.05pm. Whoever was left was Rowenna, Cindy, HweeKiang, Jacilyn and me.
D:Day, H:Hour, M:Minute, S:Second
We walked abit, then we got sprayed by some early party starters. We were like.. OMG WTF????!!! Huh????? Then suddenly chaos was around us. We had to leave that area. LoL.. So we regrouped and used some of our financial supplies to procure us some weapons. Hahaha... We bought about 2 strip sprays and 8 foam sprays altogther. Then we sprayed each other first. Hahaha... Friendly Fire!!!
Of course, the stupid strip sprays lasted no more than a short while. Boring... So we took out the foam sprays. Haha... Oh.. we received info that HK's sis and Rachel were near Cineleisure. So we went over to Cineleisure. Ahh, pretended that we wanted to wish them Merry Christmas, then we sprayed hell over them. Haha... They were so pissed, I think Rachel wanted to pry my spray can away from me or something, haha...
Then we went around Orchard spraying at people, of course in return getting sprayed back as well. Haha... that was the fun part...
There was this instance when this bald guy walked past and someone sprayed something on his head. So I sprayed a whole lot on his head as well. Haha.... At least now he has white foam hair :P..
Then Rachel wanted revenge on me you see. But she does a very bad job at choosing the timing. She went like, "Clarence.." I turned, "Ya?" And this stream of foam came flying in my direction. LOL... I turned away.. but my head was getting spammed by foam.. Haha.. Then I sent a stream flying back in her direction. It hit someone else. Then she shot back, which hit someone else as well. Then suddenly, EVERYONE was shooting. HAhahaha.. There were about 10 people there.. LOL... Yea.. we all emerged as Frosty lookalikes. :P... THANKS ar Rachel... start a war sia.. haha..
The Aftermath
There were much more shooting. Then we ran out of foam. So the war ended. Haha.. At least for us.. On the way to the MRT station, we caught sight of two people fighting. For some crazy reason I guess. So we decided to use another way to get to the MRT station.
At the station area it was really goddamn packed. So, we changed and left for Wheelock Place. Over there, everyone said their good byes and planned on how to leave the place.
I crossed the road and took bus 132 and went home. Ahhhh... was a fine day... hehe...
It's 3.23am now. I started typing at 2.01am.. Haha... K la.. I hope everyone else enjoyed their christmas'es as well. K la.. Merry Christmas! Esp to those who went to town with me, Jacilyn, Samantha, HweeKiang, Rowenna, Cindy, Jolin, Rachel, Jolin's other fren (:P). And to everyone else whom I know! ^_^... Hope I didn't miss anyone out :D... K la... tatatata....
ccjx out.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
today
today has been fine ar.. after sch stayed with sp and fatin at the café.. after that met maggie at 245 for french.. den after french went to orchard for dinner for about 2 hrs.. den go home le..
ok la.. fine day.. nothing interesting happened, as if any other day...
ok la.. fine day.. nothing interesting happened, as if any other day...
Morning has broken.
Ah.. woke up to a bland morning... Eh... I am feeling much better today... But sigh.. my stomach is grumbling.. Who can't grumble? I also can.. But.. I dunno la.. looking forward to Java practical.. then I can finish the assignment in like 10 minutes and grumble about it being too simple... hahaha... yaya i am such a snob..
Ha, suddenly I had a memory recall... remembered a part of my sec 4 life... aiyah... it's stupid la..
It's the long day again... until 5.30... Thank god I am going to have no piano for two weeks... sigh... otherwise it would be till 7.30.... talk about having a packed day... ha..
break me, don't torture me...
Ha, suddenly I had a memory recall... remembered a part of my sec 4 life... aiyah... it's stupid la..
It's the long day again... until 5.30... Thank god I am going to have no piano for two weeks... sigh... otherwise it would be till 7.30.... talk about having a packed day... ha..
break me, don't torture me...
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Sorry...
Sorry.. for being so bland these few days.. but it seems as if someone has bleached my life...
guilty
today has been a meaningless day...
came back early... tired...
slept for awhile... bored....
bathed for abit... cold...
about that la..
Being guilty of being innocent...
came back early... tired...
slept for awhile... bored....
bathed for abit... cold...
about that la..
Being guilty of being innocent...
is this what candy tastes like?
It is just as sweet as a lemon...
It is just as beautiful as a rafflesia...
It is just as dark as day...
It is just as bright as night...
It is just as innocent as a devil...
It is just as harmless as a lion...
It is just as worthless as a diamond...
It is just as yellow as the sky...
This candy tastes weird...
It is just as beautiful as a rafflesia...
It is just as dark as day...
It is just as bright as night...
It is just as innocent as a devil...
It is just as harmless as a lion...
It is just as worthless as a diamond...
It is just as yellow as the sky...
This candy tastes weird...
Monday, December 20, 2004
haunt of the late night
memories are like packets... once sealed, they remain oblivious from the world... once unsealed, they either unleash terror or bring smiles...
sigh...
sigh...
understanding
Understand that having an expectation will only lead to disappointment.
Will not happen unless God is willing for it to happen.
Will not happen unless God is willing for it to happen.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Two Thousand Four No More
random blabberings....
What's wrong with me this year...
I hope the next year's better...
Cuz this is too much bullshit in 365 days...
If I go through this again, I will turn insane...
They say that life's full of tests...
And that tests will serve as experience...
Then I plead guilty to being a lousy student...
Please spare me the tests, I just want to be happy...
Rainy days leave me slumped...
Stormy seasons put me in the dumps...
To the skies and heavens I kneel...
Please tell me just what I do feel...
Why must we fail and try...
Why must we fall and stand...
Why?????????????????
I don't wanna fail again...
I don't wanna fall off...
Hurt is enough for today...
Please leave the rest for tomorrow...
Drifting like a leaf...
One will find a tree...
One which will hold onto it tightly...
One that will never let it go...
What if it does? You might ask...
What if it doesn't? Right back at you...
If only the sky can turn green...
And the sun rises from the west...
If only water was made out of clouds...
And oxygen is made out of air...
If only flesh and blood are made out of humans...
And emotions are made out of thoughts...
If only dreams could be reality...
And thoughts could be dreams...
If only life could be happiness...
And sadness never existed...
Leave me to be with myself...
Let me lose myself in this darkness...
This empty void in which I exist...
Will just collapse onto me...
Crash into me like a car...
Bump into me like a van...
Crush me like a truck...
Smash me like a train...
I dunno la..........
What's wrong with me this year...
I hope the next year's better...
Cuz this is too much bullshit in 365 days...
If I go through this again, I will turn insane...
They say that life's full of tests...
And that tests will serve as experience...
Then I plead guilty to being a lousy student...
Please spare me the tests, I just want to be happy...
Rainy days leave me slumped...
Stormy seasons put me in the dumps...
To the skies and heavens I kneel...
Please tell me just what I do feel...
Why must we fail and try...
Why must we fall and stand...
Why?????????????????
I don't wanna fail again...
I don't wanna fall off...
Hurt is enough for today...
Please leave the rest for tomorrow...
Drifting like a leaf...
One will find a tree...
One which will hold onto it tightly...
One that will never let it go...
What if it does? You might ask...
What if it doesn't? Right back at you...
If only the sky can turn green...
And the sun rises from the west...
If only water was made out of clouds...
And oxygen is made out of air...
If only flesh and blood are made out of humans...
And emotions are made out of thoughts...
If only dreams could be reality...
And thoughts could be dreams...
If only life could be happiness...
And sadness never existed...
Leave me to be with myself...
Let me lose myself in this darkness...
This empty void in which I exist...
Will just collapse onto me...
Crash into me like a car...
Bump into me like a van...
Crush me like a truck...
Smash me like a train...
I dunno la..........
Demanding
'Cause we're all to blame
We've gone too far,
From pride to shame,
We're trying so hard,
We're dying in vain,
We want it all,
Everyone, don't we all?
Sum 41 - We're All To Blame
Sometimes, you try, then you realize that it doesn't work. It gets really frustrating.
It's like trying to climb a vertical wall.
Like trying to break a thousand-storey fall.
Sometimes when it rains, we want it to shine.
When it shines, we want it to rain.
Sometimes when it's warm, we want the cold.
When it's cold, we want warmth.
Sigh... Life is full of ironies...
We've gone too far,
From pride to shame,
We're trying so hard,
We're dying in vain,
We want it all,
Everyone, don't we all?
Sum 41 - We're All To Blame
Sometimes, you try, then you realize that it doesn't work. It gets really frustrating.
It's like trying to climb a vertical wall.
Like trying to break a thousand-storey fall.
Sometimes when it rains, we want it to shine.
When it shines, we want it to rain.
Sometimes when it's warm, we want the cold.
When it's cold, we want warmth.
Sigh... Life is full of ironies...
who can control the waves of the sea?
Can anyone, with all of his will, control a single wave to hit a single shore at a certain time?
Can anyone, with all of his will, move a cloud just a single inch?
Can anyone, with all of his will, darken the sky and brighten the day?
I don't know.
I can't.
But tell me if you can.
Can anyone, with all of his will, move a cloud just a single inch?
Can anyone, with all of his will, darken the sky and brighten the day?
I don't know.
I can't.
But tell me if you can.
Reliving the experience
Haha... went to KBox again today... 2 - 7pm.. hehe v fun... sing sing sing...
Then went to Holland V after that.. Eat at Coffee Club.. ya lor..
Then I went home lor.
lol... dunno leh.. like nothing much to blog about... :P
Then went to Holland V after that.. Eat at Coffee Club.. ya lor..
Then I went home lor.
lol... dunno leh.. like nothing much to blog about... :P
Friday, December 17, 2004
Virgin experience
Went to KBox for the first time today with master, ffb, jac, eileen today. HAha everyone sang alot.. so not bad la... was quite pleasant... hope gt more chances to go...
after that we walked around.. saw dellia and guohao... den lidat lor....
den eileen left, row came... ya lor...
haha.. lidat lor.. :P
after that we walked around.. saw dellia and guohao... den lidat lor....
den eileen left, row came... ya lor...
haha.. lidat lor.. :P
Thursday, December 16, 2004
a waste of time
i slept v little last night.. was so tired today that i slept for awhile just now.. aiyah.. sigh.. i wanted to just sleep abit.. didn't know in the end slept for an hour plus.. haha SIAN!~!~!~!~!
i am happy, if you ignore the unhappiness.
i am happy, if you ignore the unhappiness.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
longest day so far...
yo.... happy news... 56/60 for the semestral test for french last sem. hahahaha
wa.... woke up at 7.30.. kinda pissed with the alarm clock.. i was kinda dreaming of something that was v pleasant.. although i can't remember what happened...
went to sch, 9.30 java class was BORING.... so slow... just those simple hello world exercises... made me feel so stupid...
after lunch, went for IDEA lesson. wa... Innovation, Design, Enterprise and Action. Then, it was kinda fun la actually... teaches us how to materialize our ideas.. ahh nothing much also...
then went for intro to life sciences... slept for like half an hour.. i was so tired and though it was in the mass lecture theatre, i didn't care, that guy could see la, but nvm lor.. so many other ppl were also sleeping anyway... quite an interesting module, he talked alot, made alot of those dirty jokes, not v dirty la, but kinda u-know-what-i-mean... haha.... of course la, biology leh, what else can u joke about? ha... anyway.. was drifting in and out of sleep during then... ok la.. bought a can of coffee straight after that... wa the drink machine now not only accepts sms payment, cashcard and coins payment, it accepts ez-link card payment as well.. lol... that's damn high-tech ar.. hehe
went for french after that.. got my sem test results.. v happy... rest of lesson was boring.. with the teacher teasing Maggie and I, as usual... lol lame teacher...
den went to funan.. the it mall.. haha.. anyway there was a counterstrike competition and it was at the finals.. den Daniel Ong and Jamie Yeo were there as MCs... haha.. i didn't realize i was so close to them.. i was looking at this plasma tv to see how the match is going.. den.. this gal in front of me asked Jamie for an autograph... haha... k la.. she looks kinda normal la... mouth abit big.. hahahah.... k la.. i was like about less than half a metre away from her so i could see quite clearly.. so u all better trust my judgement hahaha...
went for piano after that... ha.. quite happy, no piano lessons for two weeks.. yay.... cuz gt sch holiday hahahaha....
then i came home lor.. tired but ok la.. long day... ha.... dats all lor... sian le.. hehe...
wa.... woke up at 7.30.. kinda pissed with the alarm clock.. i was kinda dreaming of something that was v pleasant.. although i can't remember what happened...
went to sch, 9.30 java class was BORING.... so slow... just those simple hello world exercises... made me feel so stupid...
after lunch, went for IDEA lesson. wa... Innovation, Design, Enterprise and Action. Then, it was kinda fun la actually... teaches us how to materialize our ideas.. ahh nothing much also...
then went for intro to life sciences... slept for like half an hour.. i was so tired and though it was in the mass lecture theatre, i didn't care, that guy could see la, but nvm lor.. so many other ppl were also sleeping anyway... quite an interesting module, he talked alot, made alot of those dirty jokes, not v dirty la, but kinda u-know-what-i-mean... haha.... of course la, biology leh, what else can u joke about? ha... anyway.. was drifting in and out of sleep during then... ok la.. bought a can of coffee straight after that... wa the drink machine now not only accepts sms payment, cashcard and coins payment, it accepts ez-link card payment as well.. lol... that's damn high-tech ar.. hehe
went for french after that.. got my sem test results.. v happy... rest of lesson was boring.. with the teacher teasing Maggie and I, as usual... lol lame teacher...
den went to funan.. the it mall.. haha.. anyway there was a counterstrike competition and it was at the finals.. den Daniel Ong and Jamie Yeo were there as MCs... haha.. i didn't realize i was so close to them.. i was looking at this plasma tv to see how the match is going.. den.. this gal in front of me asked Jamie for an autograph... haha... k la.. she looks kinda normal la... mouth abit big.. hahahah.... k la.. i was like about less than half a metre away from her so i could see quite clearly.. so u all better trust my judgement hahaha...
went for piano after that... ha.. quite happy, no piano lessons for two weeks.. yay.... cuz gt sch holiday hahahaha....
then i came home lor.. tired but ok la.. long day... ha.... dats all lor... sian le.. hehe...
Monday, December 13, 2004
interesting day....
ha... first.. morning at 8, went to school... met up with ferina, gave sokpeng a call to wake her... wa liao... say byebye immediately.. next time dowan wake u le... :P...
went for Is seeing believing? class. Omg.. first thing was this comment from the teacher, "You are from French class right?" I thought she was mentioning about someone else... but she was talking about me. haha. ok, interesting, someone noticed me.
after ISB class, went to the MRT station. ffb told me eileen was meeting them, then i called eileen, she was like, "Huh? meet who?" lol, i went there myself ba... met 1a05 group, harlow'ed them, met cindy and she led samantha over. harlow'ed her as well. they went to get drinks, eileen came, she went with them. i disturbed the a05 grp awhile, den they came and we left, went up by slope way to ICT block...
lesson one, NetF. ok lor, this teach was blabbering away, i wasn't really paying attention to her, kinda chatting. i have no impression of that lesson now. it was like a vacuum in my memory lol....
lesson two, WEBP. wa... this one ar.. the teacher was like so drama... but chatted alot.. cant really rem what was going on.. i guess i can only remember What is the WWW? haha but i forgot the answer...
den came lunch. lunched with the b21 guys. wa... quite ok la.. typical lunch with them.. haha...
rest of day in sch was uneventful. except after sch, where i was summoned from the mrt station to the bus stop haha... j/k.. den i went out with jac, ffb, saman, rowenna.
den walked around orchard... haha typical stuff lor.. they enjoy shopping ma, wad to do.. girls.. haha...
on the way home, i almost fell asleep while standing in the train sia.. lol
went for Is seeing believing? class. Omg.. first thing was this comment from the teacher, "You are from French class right?" I thought she was mentioning about someone else... but she was talking about me. haha. ok, interesting, someone noticed me.
after ISB class, went to the MRT station. ffb told me eileen was meeting them, then i called eileen, she was like, "Huh? meet who?" lol, i went there myself ba... met 1a05 group, harlow'ed them, met cindy and she led samantha over. harlow'ed her as well. they went to get drinks, eileen came, she went with them. i disturbed the a05 grp awhile, den they came and we left, went up by slope way to ICT block...
lesson one, NetF. ok lor, this teach was blabbering away, i wasn't really paying attention to her, kinda chatting. i have no impression of that lesson now. it was like a vacuum in my memory lol....
lesson two, WEBP. wa... this one ar.. the teacher was like so drama... but chatted alot.. cant really rem what was going on.. i guess i can only remember What is the WWW? haha but i forgot the answer...
den came lunch. lunched with the b21 guys. wa... quite ok la.. typical lunch with them.. haha...
rest of day in sch was uneventful. except after sch, where i was summoned from the mrt station to the bus stop haha... j/k.. den i went out with jac, ffb, saman, rowenna.
den walked around orchard... haha typical stuff lor.. they enjoy shopping ma, wad to do.. girls.. haha...
on the way home, i almost fell asleep while standing in the train sia.. lol
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Random entry
It's 10am. No, I have not slept a wink since yesterday. Today feels like Friday to me, a very long Friday.
sigh
"I wonder why."
"They love each other and got married."
"And then they slowly stopped loving each other."
-Strawberry On Shortcake - Sawamura talking to Irie on the phone
sigh
"I wonder why."
"They love each other and got married."
"And then they slowly stopped loving each other."
-Strawberry On Shortcake - Sawamura talking to Irie on the phone
This terrible night turning into a day...
The night is dark.
The day has almost arrived.
Peace, I do not feel.
Why do I think of that which is never gonna happen?
Why do I imagine that which is unreal?
Why do I hope of that which is impossible?
Why do I see the visions which will never happen?
Why do I hear the voices of those whom I will never hear again?
Why do I hope of that which will never happen?
Why do I pray of prayers that will never be answered?
I lie awake.
I try to sleep, but my mind pushes me away from sleep.
I want to enter the dark void, where my thoughts will rest like leaves on the ground.
No, the brain denies.
I'm refused the room of darkness, my thoughts run wild, like the unguided sheep on a pasture.
Sleep! I demand.
No, the brain refuses.
I surrender.
The day has almost arrived.
Peace, I do not feel.
Why do I think of that which is never gonna happen?
Why do I imagine that which is unreal?
Why do I hope of that which is impossible?
Why do I see the visions which will never happen?
Why do I hear the voices of those whom I will never hear again?
Why do I hope of that which will never happen?
Why do I pray of prayers that will never be answered?
I lie awake.
I try to sleep, but my mind pushes me away from sleep.
I want to enter the dark void, where my thoughts will rest like leaves on the ground.
No, the brain denies.
I'm refused the room of darkness, my thoughts run wild, like the unguided sheep on a pasture.
Sleep! I demand.
No, the brain refuses.
I surrender.
Friday, December 10, 2004
4pm wake
Ha... used the phone till 6.45am today... so I slept around 7, woke around 5. Wow, just in time for my dinner. hehe....
Day has been boring so far... reading Angels And Demons...
Finished Digital Fortress yesterday,...
Day has been boring so far... reading Angels And Demons...
Finished Digital Fortress yesterday,...
Thursday, December 09, 2004
la filme à Lido
went out with cindy today... eh.. wrong.. it's FFB.. hahaha.. went to catch a movie at Lido... Saw.. was a very nice show... haha... FFB looked stony during the show... :P
before that, at around 1, at orchard mrt, i bumped into JianXiang.. was interesting.. didn't expect to bump into him.... haha... den at Lido I bumped into my piano teacher... haha even funnier.. den i bumped into Daniel, frm A class of 2003 batch of fmss.... ha... + his two frenz ba (also fmss).... wad a nice day.. i like to bump into frenz hehe...
left quite early ba... sian.. haha... back home by 6... that's too early... hahaha.. the next time i go out it must be till the last train again!! :)...
kk that's all tata..
before that, at around 1, at orchard mrt, i bumped into JianXiang.. was interesting.. didn't expect to bump into him.... haha... den at Lido I bumped into my piano teacher... haha even funnier.. den i bumped into Daniel, frm A class of 2003 batch of fmss.... ha... + his two frenz ba (also fmss).... wad a nice day.. i like to bump into frenz hehe...
left quite early ba... sian.. haha... back home by 6... that's too early... hahaha.. the next time i go out it must be till the last train again!! :)...
kk that's all tata..
Lyrics - Blue - Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there
What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word
It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word
What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there
What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word
It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word
What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word
Lyrics - Lenny Kravitz - Again
I've been searching for you
I heard a cry within my soul
I've never had a yearning quite like this before
Now that you are walking right through my door
All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
A sacred gift of heaven
For better, worse, wherever
And I would never let somebody break you down
Nor take your crown, never
All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I walked through time I've always known
That you were there, upon your throne
A lonely queen without her king
I longed for you, my love forever
All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I heard a cry within my soul
I've never had a yearning quite like this before
Now that you are walking right through my door
All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
A sacred gift of heaven
For better, worse, wherever
And I would never let somebody break you down
Nor take your crown, never
All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I walked through time I've always known
That you were there, upon your throne
A lonely queen without her king
I longed for you, my love forever
All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
All of my life
Where have you been?
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll ever see you again
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
yoooo...
Wa... woke up at around 12 today... whew.. wad a great sleep.. i didn't sleep on tuesday night and i slept at 12 yesterday.. arghhh sooo tiring....
reading Digital Fortress now... wa this Dan Brown guy is quite a gd author... I seldom find books which are entertaining, and when I do, the rest of the books from the series or written by the same person are usually entertaining to me as well. Hehe....
Going for piano in about an hour's time... gonna practise abit later...
reading Digital Fortress now... wa this Dan Brown guy is quite a gd author... I seldom find books which are entertaining, and when I do, the rest of the books from the series or written by the same person are usually entertaining to me as well. Hehe....
Going for piano in about an hour's time... gonna practise abit later...
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
EhT Ad Cinivs' Odec
Could you guess the title? It's "The Da Vinci's Code" written in an anagram :P... anyway, have just recently read this book called The Da Vinci's Code. It's pretty interesting and touches a lot on religious ideas. Mainly on the Catholic Church. Anyway, the following link is an excerpt from the book.
http://www.danbrown.com/novels/davinci_code/excerpt.html
The Official Da Vinci's Code Website
http://www.danbrown.com/novels/davinci_code/excerpt.html
The Official Da Vinci's Code Website
Sunday, December 05, 2004
thoughts of the day
ha... my day began at 3 today.. hehe... Actually I slept till around 12 but I was lying in bed till 3+... Then Mr Lim from Fairfield called me and asked me if I would like to design some Singapore Idol website to earn some money. I rejected the offer, partly because I haven't been doing web design for sometime but partly because I wasn't confident of my skills as well.
Then I woke up to do my usual stuff. I played Cashflow 202 and Cashflow 101 for awhile, then at 5.30pm I left to change and stuff.
Then I met up with Eileen at Cineleisure at 6.30pm. She was with Willie and friends. Jacilyn and Cindy (SA) were also there. Then we bought some stuff from Famous Amos (and Cindy hasn't eaten the plastic bag yet... :P) and ate them. Yea, they forced me to finish the last two cookies.. evil... hehe... Anyway, then we went over the the Orchard area opposite Borders where Eileen and Willie rode on the ride called something Music... I can't remember. Then they met up with Rowenna.
After that, we left and walked around Borders for awhile. Then Willie and the guys left. I went with the four of them to eat at Scotts. It was around 8+ to 9pm. I didn't really eat cause I had to meet Sokpeng afterwards for supper. The dinner was rather 'educational' hehehe (inside joke).
Reached Yishun at 10.15pm. Thought I was late, Sokpeng was later... hehe... hopped out of nowhere and tried to scare me.. haha... Ate supper till 11pm. Then came back on the last train to Marina Bay. Wow, something interesting happened on that train.
I was sitting on this row of seats, somewhere near the centre. On the row opposite me, there were two guys (20s), nationality should be Malaysian. On the row diagonally opposite me to the left were about 6 ladies (around 20+ to 30 years old) and a father (40s to 50s) with his daughter (10+ years old). Believe it or not, the daughter was lecturing the father in Mandarin Chinese. She was sitting quite a distance away and the train wheels were grumbling like mad so I couldn't hear some parts.
Girl : You see, the whole family lives in a house with one room (or lives in a room, couldn't hear exactly) and we when we want to buy a sofa, buy... (the girl starts listing stuff that they couldn't afford and uses her right hand to point onto each finger on her left hand while she listed every thing)... we cannot afford it. Do you know?
Father : Ya.. Ya... (he nods. He's feeling embarrassed because the girl is almost speaking at the top of her voice.)
Girl : Then do you know why I always want to ..(can't hear).. want to score 100 marks? Because I don't want to be like you. .....(can't hear).... can't even afford ...(can't hear)....
Dad : (takes out a clear file, something like a salesman portfolio, i'm guessing he's a salesman) See, I'm doing this...(can't hear)....
Girl : What is this? (points at the file, flips the pages) This is a waste of time and money. Think about it, why are you wasting your time and money. It is really a big waste of time and money.
Father : (flips one page) But you see....
Girl : (cuts him off) But you see, it is just a big waste of time and money...
The two guys opposite started to talk in Hokkien Chinese, "Wa, what a daughter, it'll be a shame to have someone like that as a daughter. To get scolded by his daughter on the train and it's so loud, ha.. poor thing for him as her father..."
Father : If you continue...(can't hear)...when you go home I'm gonna beat you.... (in a calm monotonous low voice, which kinda meant, "please keep quiet...")
Girl : When you go home you wanna beat me la? When you go home you wanna beat me la? (a bit louder) WHEN YOU GO HOME YOU WANNA BEAT ME LA? (louder) Ok lor... ...(can't hear)...
Father : ...(can't hear)...
Girl : ....(can't hear)....
MRT Speaker : Braddell.... Braddell....
The father stood up and walked to the door, daughter behind. As they walked out, the guy said in a loud voice in Mandarin, "Oi, don't you have a proper upbringing?" He was dissatisfied by the way the daughter was talking to her father.
One of the ladies diagonally left said in Mandarin Chinese, "What a daughter! It'll be a shame to have her as a daughter!"
Personally, I feel that even if her father may have done something or may have been doing something which she does not like (e.g. not making enough money), she shouldn't have talked so loudly in front of everyone. As I looked at the father, his eyes were not that of anger, his were those of desperation. I could see it in his eyes that he was thinking, "Why am I such a father? Why can't I provide for my daughter well?" I could see his sadness. But the insensitive daughter continued to hurt him, and to pierce his heart with her sharp words.
I find that very disgusting. Even if he didn't provide every single luxury to her, she should know that he, as a father had already given her two things. One, her life, two, her upbringing, until now.
Actually, come to think of it, it is like a message to me. Whoever created this world, gave us life. Whoever created everyone, gave me parents to take care of me. I have been taken care of till now. Now, I find that this world is insufficient and dislikable. But, in doing so, I am similar to that girl; I am grumbling about things that I do not have but I am not realizing that I already have so much to be thankful for.
Sigh, I have been so foolish...
Then I woke up to do my usual stuff. I played Cashflow 202 and Cashflow 101 for awhile, then at 5.30pm I left to change and stuff.
Then I met up with Eileen at Cineleisure at 6.30pm. She was with Willie and friends. Jacilyn and Cindy (SA) were also there. Then we bought some stuff from Famous Amos (and Cindy hasn't eaten the plastic bag yet... :P) and ate them. Yea, they forced me to finish the last two cookies.. evil... hehe... Anyway, then we went over the the Orchard area opposite Borders where Eileen and Willie rode on the ride called something Music... I can't remember. Then they met up with Rowenna.
After that, we left and walked around Borders for awhile. Then Willie and the guys left. I went with the four of them to eat at Scotts. It was around 8+ to 9pm. I didn't really eat cause I had to meet Sokpeng afterwards for supper. The dinner was rather 'educational' hehehe (inside joke).
Reached Yishun at 10.15pm. Thought I was late, Sokpeng was later... hehe... hopped out of nowhere and tried to scare me.. haha... Ate supper till 11pm. Then came back on the last train to Marina Bay. Wow, something interesting happened on that train.
I was sitting on this row of seats, somewhere near the centre. On the row opposite me, there were two guys (20s), nationality should be Malaysian. On the row diagonally opposite me to the left were about 6 ladies (around 20+ to 30 years old) and a father (40s to 50s) with his daughter (10+ years old). Believe it or not, the daughter was lecturing the father in Mandarin Chinese. She was sitting quite a distance away and the train wheels were grumbling like mad so I couldn't hear some parts.
Girl : You see, the whole family lives in a house with one room (or lives in a room, couldn't hear exactly) and we when we want to buy a sofa, buy... (the girl starts listing stuff that they couldn't afford and uses her right hand to point onto each finger on her left hand while she listed every thing)... we cannot afford it. Do you know?
Father : Ya.. Ya... (he nods. He's feeling embarrassed because the girl is almost speaking at the top of her voice.)
Girl : Then do you know why I always want to ..(can't hear).. want to score 100 marks? Because I don't want to be like you. .....(can't hear).... can't even afford ...(can't hear)....
Dad : (takes out a clear file, something like a salesman portfolio, i'm guessing he's a salesman) See, I'm doing this...(can't hear)....
Girl : What is this? (points at the file, flips the pages) This is a waste of time and money. Think about it, why are you wasting your time and money. It is really a big waste of time and money.
Father : (flips one page) But you see....
Girl : (cuts him off) But you see, it is just a big waste of time and money...
The two guys opposite started to talk in Hokkien Chinese, "Wa, what a daughter, it'll be a shame to have someone like that as a daughter. To get scolded by his daughter on the train and it's so loud, ha.. poor thing for him as her father..."
Father : If you continue...(can't hear)...when you go home I'm gonna beat you.... (in a calm monotonous low voice, which kinda meant, "please keep quiet...")
Girl : When you go home you wanna beat me la? When you go home you wanna beat me la? (a bit louder) WHEN YOU GO HOME YOU WANNA BEAT ME LA? (louder) Ok lor... ...(can't hear)...
Father : ...(can't hear)...
Girl : ....(can't hear)....
MRT Speaker : Braddell.... Braddell....
The father stood up and walked to the door, daughter behind. As they walked out, the guy said in a loud voice in Mandarin, "Oi, don't you have a proper upbringing?" He was dissatisfied by the way the daughter was talking to her father.
One of the ladies diagonally left said in Mandarin Chinese, "What a daughter! It'll be a shame to have her as a daughter!"
Personally, I feel that even if her father may have done something or may have been doing something which she does not like (e.g. not making enough money), she shouldn't have talked so loudly in front of everyone. As I looked at the father, his eyes were not that of anger, his were those of desperation. I could see it in his eyes that he was thinking, "Why am I such a father? Why can't I provide for my daughter well?" I could see his sadness. But the insensitive daughter continued to hurt him, and to pierce his heart with her sharp words.
I find that very disgusting. Even if he didn't provide every single luxury to her, she should know that he, as a father had already given her two things. One, her life, two, her upbringing, until now.
Actually, come to think of it, it is like a message to me. Whoever created this world, gave us life. Whoever created everyone, gave me parents to take care of me. I have been taken care of till now. Now, I find that this world is insufficient and dislikable. But, in doing so, I am similar to that girl; I am grumbling about things that I do not have but I am not realizing that I already have so much to be thankful for.
Sigh, I have been so foolish...
Saturday, December 04, 2004
perfect simulated world
How many of you wonder why I blabber so much day after day? It's not because I have nothing better else to do. I can always be going out, playing games, doing whatever the hell I would like to do but I still fill my thoughts in here. Why?
It's mainly due to the fact that this world is not created perfect. Why isn't it perfect, you may ask? Well, you know what, I don't know. I mean, c'mon, for those of you who have played a God-sim game (e.g. Sim city, Children of The Nile, Black & White, Civilisation) before, you know that you will want to build your cities as perfectly as possible. With the people living as perfectly as possible. I mean, if you could design the citizens as well, you would create them to be totally immortal, without illness, will never be sad, will never get angry and they will never disrupt the balance.
So then again, we ask once again, this age old question, "Did God create us or did we create god?"
Did God create us all out of nothing or were we just too free and so preoccupied with nothing that we came up with the idea of a God creating us also out of nowhere.
I mean, anyone in the right mind would know that, they would want to create a perfect world. And, since God can do that, why didn't he?
I mean, how hard is it? Why couldn't he create the world and not leave the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden? Then we would all be still running around the garden now and not have any problems. Happiness will be all around; did you think that Adam and Eve were even sad or feeling negative for once?
Now, we look at our world, and sadness is everywhere. We often ask, why does this happen to me and not him, or him, or him? But I ask, why does this even have to happen at all? Why can't it be like a perfect world where nothing is wrong? Is there any wrong with having a world that is without wrong? No. Then why isn't it here?
Why are we having problems at every stage of life? Just think of it, everyone, regardless of race, class, income, religion, gender, nationality nor age has problems. Then apart from these intrapersonal problems, we have interpersonal problems, where people have problems against each other. Friends become foes, allies become enemies. Countries war each other for the exact same thing that both of them want. Why? Why can't countries be content with that which they have?
But this is a real paradox. I am asking that people should be content with what they have. But in doing so, I am not being content with what I have and am asking for more. But if I should be content and not ask for people to be content with what they have, then I have the right not to be content and therefore am able to ask that people should be content. And there the cycle goes on and on and on.
Many times, when we grumble about what we don't have, we are told to think of the things that we have. But why? But must we think of the things that we have? Why can't we be made such that we will not even think of what we don't have? Why must we be made such that we are able to discern good and evil, allow people to be evil. Why can't the world be filled with goodness, happiness, and everything positive in abundance? Well, abundance isn't exactly the word because it will ONLY be filled with positivity and therefore have nothing else to compete with it for its presense.
Therefore, this world should have been made perfect. Oh, I guess I know why, maybe God made a perfect world at first. Then he found it boring, because they did the same thing over and over again every single day. And they wouldn't get bored, they wouldn't get angry. They are happy 24 hours a day seven days a week. So he decided to delete them and to create us. This time he added a little randomness with a few chaos systems thrown in. We can never guess where a stone would land if we were to throw it, but in a perfect world we would know. But then again, if we were living in a perfect world, we wouldn't be thinking about throwing a stone because that would be an action which is illogical and does not prove much nor gain much. But then again, if I were in a prefect world, I would not have been typing on this blog since half an hour ago trying to explain how I feel about this world because it would not have made a difference in anyone's life.
So, I can only say one thing, I hate the way this world is run, everything is screwed up.
It's mainly due to the fact that this world is not created perfect. Why isn't it perfect, you may ask? Well, you know what, I don't know. I mean, c'mon, for those of you who have played a God-sim game (e.g. Sim city, Children of The Nile, Black & White, Civilisation) before, you know that you will want to build your cities as perfectly as possible. With the people living as perfectly as possible. I mean, if you could design the citizens as well, you would create them to be totally immortal, without illness, will never be sad, will never get angry and they will never disrupt the balance.
So then again, we ask once again, this age old question, "Did God create us or did we create god?"
Did God create us all out of nothing or were we just too free and so preoccupied with nothing that we came up with the idea of a God creating us also out of nowhere.
I mean, anyone in the right mind would know that, they would want to create a perfect world. And, since God can do that, why didn't he?
I mean, how hard is it? Why couldn't he create the world and not leave the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden? Then we would all be still running around the garden now and not have any problems. Happiness will be all around; did you think that Adam and Eve were even sad or feeling negative for once?
Now, we look at our world, and sadness is everywhere. We often ask, why does this happen to me and not him, or him, or him? But I ask, why does this even have to happen at all? Why can't it be like a perfect world where nothing is wrong? Is there any wrong with having a world that is without wrong? No. Then why isn't it here?
Why are we having problems at every stage of life? Just think of it, everyone, regardless of race, class, income, religion, gender, nationality nor age has problems. Then apart from these intrapersonal problems, we have interpersonal problems, where people have problems against each other. Friends become foes, allies become enemies. Countries war each other for the exact same thing that both of them want. Why? Why can't countries be content with that which they have?
But this is a real paradox. I am asking that people should be content with what they have. But in doing so, I am not being content with what I have and am asking for more. But if I should be content and not ask for people to be content with what they have, then I have the right not to be content and therefore am able to ask that people should be content. And there the cycle goes on and on and on.
Many times, when we grumble about what we don't have, we are told to think of the things that we have. But why? But must we think of the things that we have? Why can't we be made such that we will not even think of what we don't have? Why must we be made such that we are able to discern good and evil, allow people to be evil. Why can't the world be filled with goodness, happiness, and everything positive in abundance? Well, abundance isn't exactly the word because it will ONLY be filled with positivity and therefore have nothing else to compete with it for its presense.
Therefore, this world should have been made perfect. Oh, I guess I know why, maybe God made a perfect world at first. Then he found it boring, because they did the same thing over and over again every single day. And they wouldn't get bored, they wouldn't get angry. They are happy 24 hours a day seven days a week. So he decided to delete them and to create us. This time he added a little randomness with a few chaos systems thrown in. We can never guess where a stone would land if we were to throw it, but in a perfect world we would know. But then again, if we were living in a perfect world, we wouldn't be thinking about throwing a stone because that would be an action which is illogical and does not prove much nor gain much. But then again, if I were in a prefect world, I would not have been typing on this blog since half an hour ago trying to explain how I feel about this world because it would not have made a difference in anyone's life.
So, I can only say one thing, I hate the way this world is run, everything is screwed up.
Friday, December 03, 2004
girl with back-folded wings
hmm... went out with jasmine today.. watched a movie... ate... walked around.. haha eh thx for de notebook and chopsticks frm thailand... today has been quite a fun day ba...
Below lies some insane blabbering, ignore if you are not bored.
just now.. before i went to bathe, i watched a part of this show... dunno wad in-laws la... channel 8 at 9pm... the story goes on that this father of this son broke off with this lady because he found out that his horoscope clashes with that of hers. The son also said some stuff which caused his girlfriend to misunderstand. Actually, the fortune teller had only said so because he was bribed. So after some help by the sister of that lady, the fortune teller told the truth and so the father went to apologize to the lady. He begs and does ridiculously low stuff to gain her forgiveness, she eventually softens and he shows her a diamond ring. She forgives him. The son bought balloons for his girlfriend, the girlfriend used a needle to burst a few of them and after some talk from the guy decided to forgive him.
It seems like a wonderful story because in fact there are people in this world who are THAT serious about things from the horoscope. But the point is, it's not because of what either guy had done which caused the ladies to forgive them, but because of the fact that the ladies actually had in mind the desire to forgive them. Therefore, after some begging, they decide to forgive.
Let's look at this from another perspective. For the girl, what she wanted was to hear an explanation. She was prepared to forgive him anyway. If the girl was determined to not forgive him, she would've not listened to him at all since the start. And even if he were to pour a thousand pails of water on himself, she wouldn't have forgiven him at all.
Similarly, if someone is determined to not accept you, no matter how much effort you put in, he/she will still not do so. I heard of someone who had wooed someone for 3 years and then found out that she will never accept him. She accepted guy after guy, but he was never in line. Why? Because she was determined to not accept him. I will never want to be like that, that is why I never let myself drag on but I will move on as soon as I can whenever possible. It's not worth it to be hurt like that.
Below lies some insane blabbering, ignore if you are not bored.
just now.. before i went to bathe, i watched a part of this show... dunno wad in-laws la... channel 8 at 9pm... the story goes on that this father of this son broke off with this lady because he found out that his horoscope clashes with that of hers. The son also said some stuff which caused his girlfriend to misunderstand. Actually, the fortune teller had only said so because he was bribed. So after some help by the sister of that lady, the fortune teller told the truth and so the father went to apologize to the lady. He begs and does ridiculously low stuff to gain her forgiveness, she eventually softens and he shows her a diamond ring. She forgives him. The son bought balloons for his girlfriend, the girlfriend used a needle to burst a few of them and after some talk from the guy decided to forgive him.
It seems like a wonderful story because in fact there are people in this world who are THAT serious about things from the horoscope. But the point is, it's not because of what either guy had done which caused the ladies to forgive them, but because of the fact that the ladies actually had in mind the desire to forgive them. Therefore, after some begging, they decide to forgive.
Let's look at this from another perspective. For the girl, what she wanted was to hear an explanation. She was prepared to forgive him anyway. If the girl was determined to not forgive him, she would've not listened to him at all since the start. And even if he were to pour a thousand pails of water on himself, she wouldn't have forgiven him at all.
Similarly, if someone is determined to not accept you, no matter how much effort you put in, he/she will still not do so. I heard of someone who had wooed someone for 3 years and then found out that she will never accept him. She accepted guy after guy, but he was never in line. Why? Because she was determined to not accept him. I will never want to be like that, that is why I never let myself drag on but I will move on as soon as I can whenever possible. It's not worth it to be hurt like that.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Reality is unlike a fairy tale, princes and princesses do not necessary have happy endings...
Yea, i found that Cashflow game. Downloading it.
It's 12mn now. My chest has this terrible feeling. It feels empty. It feels like a canyon, like the Grand Canyon. It's terrible, you want to fill it up but it's almost boundless and it's impossible to fill up. The sense of insecurity is so terribly high.... I feel this heavy weight on my shoulders. I want to throw it aside, leaving all my burdens by my side and then running away from them all. But I can't. I know that I have to solve them one by one. But.. It's becoming increasingly taxing...
I'm doing all I can, I immerse myself in games, in shows, movies, etc. Just to leave this consciousness known as reality just for a little while. Maybe not more than two hours, but it is sufficient to ease the pain. It's like morphine for soldiers on the battlefield. Even for just awhile will serve as tremendous relieve... Until the pain kicks in again and knocks you right on your head. Argh....
Speaking of which, I am feeling tired now... Goodnight.
It's 12mn now. My chest has this terrible feeling. It feels empty. It feels like a canyon, like the Grand Canyon. It's terrible, you want to fill it up but it's almost boundless and it's impossible to fill up. The sense of insecurity is so terribly high.... I feel this heavy weight on my shoulders. I want to throw it aside, leaving all my burdens by my side and then running away from them all. But I can't. I know that I have to solve them one by one. But.. It's becoming increasingly taxing...
I'm doing all I can, I immerse myself in games, in shows, movies, etc. Just to leave this consciousness known as reality just for a little while. Maybe not more than two hours, but it is sufficient to ease the pain. It's like morphine for soldiers on the battlefield. Even for just awhile will serve as tremendous relieve... Until the pain kicks in again and knocks you right on your head. Argh....
Speaking of which, I am feeling tired now... Goodnight.
we are us
Came back from chalet yesterday at 9am. Slept from 1 - 3pm yesterday. Went for piano half-dead and managed to survive it. Slept at 10pm yesterday, can you believe it? 10pm!
Ha.. Today woke up at 7.30am. Even worse, I am already feeling tired at 12pm. I think I'll just have to pull through so that I'll be able to sleep at night.
Let me now describe my chalet experience.
On Monday, the first day of the chalet, we were supposed to meet at 3pm. But thanks to miscommunication and many other factors, we only met up at 4pm. Ha... Then we rushed for the 4.15pm shuttle bus. It was fine, but there wasn't enough seats on the bus and we had to either share seats or sit on the floor.
Upon reaching the chalet area, we saw many terraces but those weren't our chalet house. Ours was the little on at the side with a letter 'H' at the side of the door. We went in, left our bags and went out for a walk.
Our first stop was the beach. We sat on the rock and chatted and took photos. It took awhile and after that, we got hungry, so we went to the food court at Downtown East. After that 6pm dinner, we walked around abit, after which we went back to the chalet. The few of us left for the shuttle bus to Pasir Ris MRT cause we had to leave (except Lijia and Jieling who had to collect Pamela's cake, meant to be a surprise). And so I left.
I heard that they celebrated Pamela's birthday at 12midnight when they got a cake for her and even added some 50% alcohol liquor into her drink. Haha.. heard she got kinda red and started to talk a lot (I wonder what she said... :P).
On Tuesday, after choosing the GEM subject, I went down with JiaLi to the chalet. Met the others at Pizza Hut, ate and left. I paid first using my cracked Nets card (hehe) and had to haunt them like a ghost for the individual payments (hehe again).
We then went to the arcade where they played bishi bashi. Then the four of us (Jedi, Samuel Koh, Daniel Ngui and myself) played World Combat. muahahahaa..... Damn we lost at the last stage.. We almost won... :P...
After that, we left the place and returned to the chalet. Played some rounds of DaiDee (like 20 i think..). Then at night after the most of us bathed, we played a board game called CashFlow. It's really interesting and requires more brains than the usual board games. Basically you start with a job and you have to earn more money by playing stocks and investing in properties. Took some time for me to learn it, and I guess I made many mistakes and therefore I couldn't win. I was a Doctor who's a Managing Director. There was a Janitor, and another Truck Driver and a few other players. But the dang Truck Driver won. LOL. (I hope I can find a computer game version of that board game.)
Most slept at around 2am that night. I talked on the phone till around 3am though. Then I tried to sleep but I couldn't cause everywhere was occupied. So I was kinda tired...
Come wednesday morning and I was super tired so I decided to leave the chalet early, which brings me back to the start of this entry. Therefore, tata... That's all...
I'm off to find a computer game version of Cashflow...
Ha.. Today woke up at 7.30am. Even worse, I am already feeling tired at 12pm. I think I'll just have to pull through so that I'll be able to sleep at night.
Let me now describe my chalet experience.
On Monday, the first day of the chalet, we were supposed to meet at 3pm. But thanks to miscommunication and many other factors, we only met up at 4pm. Ha... Then we rushed for the 4.15pm shuttle bus. It was fine, but there wasn't enough seats on the bus and we had to either share seats or sit on the floor.
Upon reaching the chalet area, we saw many terraces but those weren't our chalet house. Ours was the little on at the side with a letter 'H' at the side of the door. We went in, left our bags and went out for a walk.
Our first stop was the beach. We sat on the rock and chatted and took photos. It took awhile and after that, we got hungry, so we went to the food court at Downtown East. After that 6pm dinner, we walked around abit, after which we went back to the chalet. The few of us left for the shuttle bus to Pasir Ris MRT cause we had to leave (except Lijia and Jieling who had to collect Pamela's cake, meant to be a surprise). And so I left.
I heard that they celebrated Pamela's birthday at 12midnight when they got a cake for her and even added some 50% alcohol liquor into her drink. Haha.. heard she got kinda red and started to talk a lot (I wonder what she said... :P).
On Tuesday, after choosing the GEM subject, I went down with JiaLi to the chalet. Met the others at Pizza Hut, ate and left. I paid first using my cracked Nets card (hehe) and had to haunt them like a ghost for the individual payments (hehe again).
We then went to the arcade where they played bishi bashi. Then the four of us (Jedi, Samuel Koh, Daniel Ngui and myself) played World Combat. muahahahaa..... Damn we lost at the last stage.. We almost won... :P...
After that, we left the place and returned to the chalet. Played some rounds of DaiDee (like 20 i think..). Then at night after the most of us bathed, we played a board game called CashFlow. It's really interesting and requires more brains than the usual board games. Basically you start with a job and you have to earn more money by playing stocks and investing in properties. Took some time for me to learn it, and I guess I made many mistakes and therefore I couldn't win. I was a Doctor who's a Managing Director. There was a Janitor, and another Truck Driver and a few other players. But the dang Truck Driver won. LOL. (I hope I can find a computer game version of that board game.)
Most slept at around 2am that night. I talked on the phone till around 3am though. Then I tried to sleep but I couldn't cause everywhere was occupied. So I was kinda tired...
Come wednesday morning and I was super tired so I decided to leave the chalet early, which brings me back to the start of this entry. Therefore, tata... That's all...
I'm off to find a computer game version of Cashflow...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
